1
00:00:24,162 --> 00:00:27,579
This place was built before
America was even established.

2
00:00:29,167 --> 00:00:31,617
-Before McDonald's even.
-What?

3
00:00:32,825 --> 00:00:36,401
And it's thought that women were
burned in those living rooms upstairs

4
00:00:36,484 --> 00:00:38,645
as part
of the Salem Witch Trials.

5
00:00:38,728 --> 00:00:41,524
That's nonsense,
absolute nonsense.

6
00:00:44,216 --> 00:00:48,827
Anything on the EMF, Poppy,
which stands for

7
00:00:48,910 --> 00:00:52,397
Ecto... mystic Finder.

8
00:00:52,811 --> 00:00:54,157
No, it doesn't.

9
00:00:55,607 --> 00:00:57,733
Actually, yes there is, and I
think it's coming from over there

10
00:00:57,816 --> 00:00:59,093
off that dumbwaiter.

11
00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:02,269
Well, let's not be rude,
he might be foreign.

12
00:01:04,374 --> 00:01:05,410
What waiter?

13
00:01:06,514 --> 00:01:08,778
Once we started to get
a little bit of popularity,

14
00:01:08,861 --> 00:01:12,541
I mean, like, five or so
regular followers, mostly bots...

15
00:01:12,624 --> 00:01:15,578
Erm, can you change
that title, please?

16
00:01:15,661 --> 00:01:18,271
-What do you want?
-Behavioural Psychologist.

17
00:01:18,354 --> 00:01:20,721
Wallace just became,
I don't know,

18
00:01:20,804 --> 00:01:23,621
he started reading these books
that he didn't quite understand

19
00:01:23,704 --> 00:01:25,761
and coming up with these words
and phrases

20
00:01:25,844 --> 00:01:29,868
that were totally out of
context, complete nonsense.

21
00:01:29,951 --> 00:01:32,112
What is going on there?

22
00:01:32,195 --> 00:01:37,580
And his ego, he became
this distended solipsist.

23
00:01:39,582 --> 00:01:41,156
Yeah, we'll do it later.

24
00:01:47,383 --> 00:01:49,647
I can sense the malevolence.

25
00:01:49,730 --> 00:01:52,319
This is an angry spirit.

26
00:01:58,704 --> 00:02:02,398
-And I think he may have farted.
-Jesus.

27
00:02:06,850 --> 00:02:09,163
Do you guys see the size
of this wiener?

28
00:02:13,443 --> 00:02:14,775
...ing hell.

29
00:02:14,858 --> 00:02:16,895
I know, it's huge, right?

30
00:02:18,793 --> 00:02:21,086
Chet had been jealous of me
for quite some time.

31
00:02:21,865 --> 00:02:24,233
When my fans really started
to show interest,

32
00:02:24,316 --> 00:02:25,352
especially chicks.

33
00:02:26,422 --> 00:02:27,547
He just seemed to want to
mess everything up,

34
00:02:27,630 --> 00:02:30,460
but I handled it with class.

35
00:02:31,530 --> 00:02:35,175
You've ruined another investigation,
Chet, you big knobbly turd.

36
00:02:35,258 --> 00:02:36,590
What? You wanted dinner.

37
00:02:36,673 --> 00:02:38,558
Not now.

38
00:02:38,641 --> 00:02:40,491
I wanted you to film us,
but as usual,

39
00:02:40,574 --> 00:02:42,527
Poppy and I had to
work alone again.

40
00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:44,598
You know, I feel I have to be
honest with you, Chet,

41
00:02:44,681 --> 00:02:46,752
you're a dipshit
and I hate you.

42
00:02:50,377 --> 00:02:51,964
Yeah, Wallace, I'm the dipshit.

43
00:03:10,535 --> 00:03:14,490
Yep, so zero regrets
about my choice of subject.

44
00:03:14,573 --> 00:03:16,423
Who wouldn't want to dedicate
seven years

45
00:03:16,506 --> 00:03:20,600
of their precious academia
to consummate morons?

46
00:03:54,544 --> 00:03:59,653
Greetings, believers, and welcome to
your weekly trip down the paranormal.

47
00:04:00,378 --> 00:04:03,884
I wonder which is the best meat.

48
00:04:03,967 --> 00:04:06,715
We are coming live
from Erie, Ohio.

49
00:04:06,798 --> 00:04:08,717
I'm ready to take your calls.

50
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,388
So stand by with...

51
00:04:11,078 --> 00:04:12,790
Beef is pretty versatile,

52
00:04:12,873 --> 00:04:15,344
but then lamb is good
for kebabs.

53
00:04:15,427 --> 00:04:18,554
Okay, Wallace, we are not live,
this is a podcast.

54
00:04:18,637 --> 00:04:21,316
-Pork!
-What?

55
00:04:21,399 --> 00:04:23,835
-Vodcast.
-Yeah, right, vodcast.

56
00:04:23,918 --> 00:04:27,059
So we're not live and we
don't have a phone system.

57
00:04:28,716 --> 00:04:30,601
We're recording your voice now,

58
00:04:30,684 --> 00:04:33,466
and then we're gonna add
the "callers" later

59
00:04:33,549 --> 00:04:35,295
with our audio software.

60
00:04:35,378 --> 00:04:37,725
It's called "editing," remember?

61
00:04:39,451 --> 00:04:42,820
But we are live.

62
00:04:42,903 --> 00:04:45,857
We are alive.

63
00:04:45,940 --> 00:04:47,010
Yes.

64
00:04:49,910 --> 00:04:52,933
Poppy's never really understood
the concept of broadcasting.

65
00:04:53,016 --> 00:04:55,004
I mean, she tries, bless her,

66
00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:57,628
but all those Ivy League degrees
and books

67
00:04:57,711 --> 00:04:59,319
are no substitute
for experience.

68
00:04:59,402 --> 00:05:01,079
I'm a seasoned broadcaster.

69
00:05:01,162 --> 00:05:02,736
Are you?

70
00:05:02,819 --> 00:05:05,705
Yeah, in Europe.

71
00:05:05,788 --> 00:05:07,349
You don't get that channel here.

72
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:11,814
Wallace has never really
understood the concept of podcasting.

73
00:05:11,897 --> 00:05:15,577
He seems to think
we're on live TV.

74
00:05:15,660 --> 00:05:18,580
Okay, so let's record
the first part of your script.

75
00:05:18,663 --> 00:05:19,615
Are you ready?

76
00:05:19,698 --> 00:05:21,597
Don't look into the camera.

77
00:05:22,736 --> 00:05:23,771
Action.

78
00:05:26,084 --> 00:05:27,327
Action, Wallace.

79
00:05:29,881 --> 00:05:31,779
Okay, I've cut there,
what's wrong?

80
00:05:32,504 --> 00:05:34,734
I just keep thinking about meat.

81
00:05:34,817 --> 00:05:35,942
Meat?

82
00:05:36,025 --> 00:05:38,510
You know, chicken, beef, pork.

83
00:05:39,649 --> 00:05:41,050
Yeah, I know what meat is.

84
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:42,569
Why are you thinking about meat

85
00:05:42,652 --> 00:05:43,950
when we're trying
to record this?

86
00:05:44,033 --> 00:05:45,572
Sausage, that's it.

87
00:05:45,655 --> 00:05:47,712
It goes with fries,
it goes with pancakes.

88
00:05:47,795 --> 00:05:50,405
-And that's it.
-Poppy?

89
00:05:50,488 --> 00:05:53,477
I have been with you
for almost two years,

90
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,583
and in that time, you managed
to lose every sponsor

91
00:05:56,666 --> 00:05:59,586
that we ever had,
burn down a factory,

92
00:05:59,669 --> 00:06:01,554
and alienate the one person

93
00:06:01,637 --> 00:06:03,708
that can make
your show watchable.

94
00:06:05,468 --> 00:06:06,538
She said that?

95
00:06:08,885 --> 00:06:09,921
Well, yeah.

96
00:06:11,094 --> 00:06:13,773
You know, the only reason
I agreed to join this team

97
00:06:13,856 --> 00:06:17,501
is so that I could study the
psychology of paranormal witnesses.

98
00:06:17,584 --> 00:06:19,641
All I've studied
is you and Chet,

99
00:06:19,724 --> 00:06:22,160
seeing who could piss
higher up the damn wall.

100
00:06:22,243 --> 00:06:24,611
I have had it. I am through.

101
00:06:24,694 --> 00:06:28,132
Poppy, don't go. We've got
an upcoming investigation,

102
00:06:28,215 --> 00:06:31,756
the haunted bakery,
supernatural pastries.

103
00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:35,636
Too little, too late.

104
00:06:36,948 --> 00:06:38,936
Just for the record though,

105
00:06:39,019 --> 00:06:40,572
I did get higher up the wall.

106
00:06:49,926 --> 00:06:52,708
Greetings, believer.
You are live on the air.

107
00:06:52,791 --> 00:06:55,711
I'm standing in the
middle of this old warehouse,

108
00:06:55,794 --> 00:06:58,990
and it's super scary,
and I need somebody

109
00:06:59,073 --> 00:07:00,854
to come
and investigate it for me.

110
00:07:00,937 --> 00:07:03,098
Caller, you have come
to the right place.

111
00:07:03,181 --> 00:07:05,445
Oh, yeah, I heard you guys
are the best,

112
00:07:05,528 --> 00:07:07,171
especially that Chet guy.

113
00:07:07,254 --> 00:07:10,208
No, caller,
you are much mistaken,

114
00:07:10,291 --> 00:07:13,004
Unfortunately,
Chet is a massive turd.

115
00:07:13,087 --> 00:07:15,835
Now tell me
about your environment.

116
00:07:15,918 --> 00:07:18,044
Can you see any signs
of the paranormal,

117
00:07:18,127 --> 00:07:20,529
ecto-fog or peculiar sounds?

118
00:07:20,612 --> 00:07:23,083
Oh, yes, very peculiar.

119
00:07:23,166 --> 00:07:26,466
I keep hearing this voice,
this ghostly moaning

120
00:07:26,549 --> 00:07:30,622
that's just always complaining
and bitching about everything.

121
00:07:32,072 --> 00:07:34,681
And where is it coming from?

122
00:07:34,764 --> 00:07:38,147
Oh my God, it seems to be coming
from my phone.

123
00:07:39,631 --> 00:07:40,770
It's Chet, you idiot.

124
00:07:43,152 --> 00:07:44,760
Chet who?

125
00:07:44,843 --> 00:07:47,901
Look, I'm calling to offer you
an olive branch.

126
00:07:47,984 --> 00:07:50,110
Well, I'm all set for pieces
of tree, thank you.

127
00:07:50,193 --> 00:07:53,597
And by the way, you're still a
massive turd like I told the caller.

128
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,184
That was me.

129
00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:56,945
Of course, it was you, I don't
know any other massive turds,

130
00:07:57,028 --> 00:07:58,981
I'm not as massive
as you anyway. Okay, bye.

131
00:07:59,064 --> 00:08:00,742
Stop, stop!

132
00:08:00,825 --> 00:08:04,711
Wallace, listen,
I have a bona fide.

133
00:08:04,794 --> 00:08:07,024
You are a boner... fide.

134
00:08:07,107 --> 00:08:08,957
Wallace!

135
00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:10,821
Chet is that you?

136
00:08:10,904 --> 00:08:12,995
Oh my God, thank God, Poppy.

137
00:08:13,078 --> 00:08:15,550
Thank God it's you.

138
00:08:15,633 --> 00:08:17,275
Hey, how are you?

139
00:08:17,358 --> 00:08:19,139
Well, actually, I just quit.

140
00:08:19,222 --> 00:08:22,246
I made a pretty dramatic exit,
but I left my phone behind.

141
00:08:22,329 --> 00:08:25,836
Okay. Stop, everybody
just stop everything.

142
00:08:25,919 --> 00:08:27,838
Just listen to me
for a second, okay?

143
00:08:27,921 --> 00:08:30,875
I have a great opportunity,
this is a sign.

144
00:08:30,958 --> 00:08:33,927
We can't see you, idiot,
there's another sign.

145
00:08:36,585 --> 00:08:39,815
No, Poppy coming back
for her phone. That's the sign.

146
00:08:39,898 --> 00:08:43,060
Would you just listen to me? I
have a great opportunity for us.

147
00:08:43,143 --> 00:08:46,891
Chuck, this
isn't another crypto thing, is it?

148
00:08:46,974 --> 00:08:49,929
No, no, no,
I promise this is the real deal.

149
00:08:50,012 --> 00:08:53,657
I'm standing inside of this
big old warehouse

150
00:08:53,740 --> 00:08:57,661
in upstate New York
and it is extremely haunted.

151
00:08:57,744 --> 00:08:59,305
You're not qualified
to say that.

152
00:09:06,718 --> 00:09:07,754
Continue.

153
00:09:09,376 --> 00:09:11,847
The owner wants us
to investigate.

154
00:09:11,930 --> 00:09:14,988
I could point to hundreds,
no, thousands of people

155
00:09:15,071 --> 00:09:17,211
that want me to investigate.

156
00:09:18,074 --> 00:09:19,351
Okay, go ahead.

157
00:09:25,703 --> 00:09:28,982
How is this an actual
opportunity for us, Chet?

158
00:09:32,123 --> 00:09:33,987
They're going to pay us.

159
00:09:35,126 --> 00:09:37,183
Actual money?

160
00:09:37,266 --> 00:09:40,117
Yes, actual US dollars.

161
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:41,843
It's not about the money.

162
00:09:41,926 --> 00:09:45,674
I mean, sure, we've got expenses
like anybody else, but...

163
00:09:45,757 --> 00:09:49,264
It's totally about the money.
We're absolutely 100% broke.

164
00:09:49,347 --> 00:09:51,887
We're gonna need every
piece of equipment that we have

165
00:09:51,970 --> 00:09:53,682
and maybe some
new stuff as well.

166
00:09:53,765 --> 00:09:56,202
I want to record everything.

167
00:09:56,285 --> 00:09:58,307
We can make a real show.

168
00:10:01,255 --> 00:10:03,050
Hello? Hello?

169
00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:08,815
Ugh. I must have accidentally hung up
on them. They would never hang up on me.

170
00:10:10,368 --> 00:10:11,680
Here are the rules.

171
00:10:12,784 --> 00:10:17,188
You provide the jewels to me,
you get $5 million

172
00:10:17,271 --> 00:10:19,342
and I don't have you killed.

173
00:10:21,966 --> 00:10:24,817
Okay. That seems fair.

174
00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:26,715
Oh, shut the fuck up.

175
00:10:26,798 --> 00:10:28,855
You disappoint me in any way.

176
00:10:28,938 --> 00:10:30,685
Fail to deliver the jewels to me

177
00:10:30,768 --> 00:10:34,136
give away any information
about me or our objectives

178
00:10:34,219 --> 00:10:36,760
or do any single thing
to implicate me

179
00:10:36,843 --> 00:10:40,432
or even that causes my day
to be less than perfect.

180
00:10:44,505 --> 00:10:46,321
Yes?

181
00:10:46,404 --> 00:10:49,407
I'll fucking kill you.

182
00:10:50,753 --> 00:10:53,445
Oh, I wasn't expecting that.

183
00:10:55,931 --> 00:10:59,106
Um, is there any wiggle room?

184
00:11:00,142 --> 00:11:01,281
Slowly.

185
00:11:05,009 --> 00:11:09,427
Can we negotiate?

186
00:11:12,982 --> 00:11:17,248
Oh, oh, you meant,
you meant the killing of me.

187
00:11:17,331 --> 00:11:19,734
That would be slowly.

188
00:11:19,817 --> 00:11:22,371
And don't go
into room 66 either.

189
00:11:23,406 --> 00:11:25,981
Now, I've made some
angel food cake.

190
00:11:26,064 --> 00:11:28,259
It's by the fridge.
Share with your friends.

191
00:11:28,342 --> 00:11:30,001
You don't want to get
a tummy ache.

192
00:11:32,933 --> 00:11:34,107
What?

193
00:11:36,419 --> 00:11:37,541
We've hit the big time.

194
00:11:38,836 --> 00:11:41,721
Full sponsorship,
proper investigation.

195
00:11:41,804 --> 00:11:43,412
There'll be
seriously haunted footage.

196
00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:44,448
Good.

197
00:11:44,531 --> 00:11:46,360
What do you want me to do then?

198
00:11:48,328 --> 00:11:50,813
Well, I was just thinking that,

199
00:11:51,469 --> 00:11:52,504
they...

200
00:11:56,336 --> 00:11:57,944
Fucking hell!

201
00:11:58,027 --> 00:12:00,029
Hi, Morris, it's Poppy.

202
00:12:01,306 --> 00:12:03,122
Hello, Poppy love.

203
00:12:03,205 --> 00:12:07,022
Why the dickens is a beautiful,
intelligent honey like you,

204
00:12:07,105 --> 00:12:09,784
still knocking around
with that blithering idiot?

205
00:12:09,867 --> 00:12:12,269
Here, Wallace, put these on.
You can hear Morris better.

206
00:12:12,352 --> 00:12:14,754
There's a socket
inside the glove compartment.

207
00:12:14,837 --> 00:12:16,287
I know, I know.

208
00:12:17,564 --> 00:12:19,932
But I am two years
into my study.

209
00:12:20,015 --> 00:12:23,936
And if I stop now,
I will lose everything.

210
00:12:24,019 --> 00:12:27,284
I will be the laughing stock of
the Ivy League And unemployable.

211
00:12:27,367 --> 00:12:29,010
I'm sorry, Poppy love.

212
00:12:29,093 --> 00:12:31,806
I'm sorry my nephew
is such a fucking idiot.

213
00:12:31,889 --> 00:12:32,876
Pardon my French.

214
00:12:32,959 --> 00:12:34,360
Oh, he can't help it.

215
00:12:34,443 --> 00:12:36,169
Well, he's just, you know...

216
00:12:38,412 --> 00:12:42,023
I know he's a fucking clueless
twat! Pardon my French

217
00:12:42,106 --> 00:12:45,060
Anyway, some of what
he told you is true.

218
00:12:45,143 --> 00:12:48,305
But perhaps this is an
opportunity to make a real show.

219
00:12:48,388 --> 00:12:52,136
Hold on, Poppy love. Every
time I've tried to help him before,

220
00:12:52,219 --> 00:12:56,071
it's backfired
Fool me once, shame on you.

221
00:12:56,154 --> 00:12:58,487
Fool me twice, Seamus O'Toole.

222
00:12:58,570 --> 00:12:59,972
Sorry?

223
00:13:00,055 --> 00:13:01,836
I've lost my thread.

224
00:13:01,919 --> 00:13:03,389
Is there anything
that you can do

225
00:13:03,472 --> 00:13:05,080
as far as sponsorship goes?

226
00:13:05,163 --> 00:13:08,463
Maybe a little spot
on one of your TV channels.

227
00:13:08,546 --> 00:13:11,328
It doesn't even have to be from
a country we've even heard of.

228
00:13:11,411 --> 00:13:14,400
He say he's full sponsorship,
put it on the Internet

229
00:13:14,483 --> 00:13:16,851
I can't find
where the thing goes.

230
00:13:16,934 --> 00:13:19,422
It's in the glove compartment
underneath everything.

231
00:13:22,974 --> 00:13:24,942
Chet said full sponsorship.

232
00:13:25,874 --> 00:13:28,459
That mung bean couldn't find
his arse with both hands.

233
00:13:29,084 --> 00:13:32,487
Morris, I am so far
and this has to work.

234
00:13:32,570 --> 00:13:36,180
Chet is really good on camera
and Wallace is...

235
00:13:36,263 --> 00:13:39,183
Still an idiot, yes.
Listen, Poppy love,

236
00:13:39,266 --> 00:13:41,323
there is something
I can think of.

237
00:13:41,406 --> 00:13:43,256
Oh, bless you, Morris.

238
00:13:43,339 --> 00:13:46,846
Leave it with me, but you have
to play a straight bat.

239
00:13:46,929 --> 00:13:50,505
You're responsible for the
whole project working, right?

240
00:13:50,588 --> 00:13:52,231
Absolutely, yes.

241
00:13:52,314 --> 00:13:54,336
Remember, I'm only doing this

242
00:13:54,419 --> 00:13:56,712
because I think the sun shines
out of your arse.

243
00:13:57,975 --> 00:14:00,515
Not really appropriate
to finish that, but okay.

244
00:14:00,598 --> 00:14:03,518
If I were five years younger,
I'd be giving you a ruddy good...

245
00:14:03,601 --> 00:14:05,140
Wallace, say goodbye
to Uncle Morris.

246
00:14:05,223 --> 00:14:06,866
I haven't finished.

247
00:14:06,949 --> 00:14:08,834
...job.

248
00:14:08,917 --> 00:14:10,366
I was going to say job.

249
00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:16,579
He wasn't gonna say job.
He's just from a different time.

250
00:14:36,737 --> 00:14:40,175
Well, they found their way to the
warehouse in about a couple of days.

251
00:14:40,258 --> 00:14:42,350
Morris called me
out of the blue and...

252
00:14:42,433 --> 00:14:45,456
I'm sorry, you need to
introduce yourself.

253
00:14:45,539 --> 00:14:48,183
Oh, Snow. My name is Snow.

254
00:14:48,266 --> 00:14:50,358
-I'm...
-Is that your first or second name?

255
00:14:50,441 --> 00:14:51,476
Both.

256
00:14:53,168 --> 00:14:55,052
Is that it?

257
00:14:55,135 --> 00:14:56,999
Nearly yes, but it's just Snow.

258
00:14:58,656 --> 00:15:01,610
What shall we put
for your job, then?

259
00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:04,593
Oh,
how about Wallace Peebles fan?

260
00:15:05,663 --> 00:15:08,548
-What?
-I love Wallace.

261
00:15:08,631 --> 00:15:10,585
I've followed his whole career.

262
00:15:10,668 --> 00:15:13,381
His village hall tour,
his blog, his podcast.

263
00:15:13,464 --> 00:15:16,156
His tea towels of the
Paranormal Christmas gift set.

264
00:15:19,194 --> 00:15:20,643
I must be his biggest fan.

265
00:15:26,270 --> 00:15:28,016
Go and hold that
ladder for Snow, Wallace,

266
00:15:28,099 --> 00:15:30,260
you flaccid prick,
pardon my French.

267
00:15:30,343 --> 00:15:34,920
And don't look up her skirt,
you ruddy pervert.

268
00:15:35,003 --> 00:15:36,038
It's okay, Wallace.

269
00:15:37,626 --> 00:15:39,303
What, don't look up your skirt?

270
00:15:39,386 --> 00:15:41,581
No, I mean, don't worry.

271
00:15:41,664 --> 00:15:45,068
-Well...
-Snow is your producer.

272
00:15:45,151 --> 00:15:48,071
She's in charge of everything
that goes on.

273
00:15:48,154 --> 00:15:50,211
Hold it, Morris,
we're an established team.

274
00:15:50,294 --> 00:15:51,591
And you told me that
I was in charge.

275
00:15:51,674 --> 00:15:53,317
Oh, I mean, just for the show.

276
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:55,285
Of course,
you're your own team, Poppy,

277
00:15:55,368 --> 00:15:58,460
except for Wallace,
who's a fucking liability,

278
00:15:58,543 --> 00:16:00,152
Pardon my French.

279
00:16:00,235 --> 00:16:02,099
Wow, how about
some solidarity, Chet?

280
00:16:04,135 --> 00:16:08,539
It is Snow's responsibility to capture
everything that's needed to make the show.

281
00:16:08,622 --> 00:16:12,419
So please coordinate
your investigation with her.

282
00:16:15,284 --> 00:16:18,756
-Fine.
-You should know that Snow's funding this herself,

283
00:16:18,839 --> 00:16:21,290
so think on.

284
00:16:41,241 --> 00:16:42,311
Hey, Snow.

285
00:16:46,108 --> 00:16:47,279
Hey, what you got there?

286
00:16:49,077 --> 00:16:51,686
Oh, yeah, this is pretty tricky,
let me show you.

287
00:16:51,769 --> 00:16:54,413
You just kinda take this,

288
00:16:54,496 --> 00:16:58,396
and you gotta kinda
bend this back here.

289
00:17:02,849 --> 00:17:04,057
That one's faulty.

290
00:17:07,233 --> 00:17:11,223
Hey, listen, I'm usually the
camera guy on all these things.

291
00:17:11,306 --> 00:17:13,032
Oh, okay.

292
00:17:14,516 --> 00:17:18,589
So I thought maybe I could be
the head of the camera team?

293
00:17:19,728 --> 00:17:21,819
Oh, is there a team coming?

294
00:17:21,902 --> 00:17:25,251
Well, no,
that's me asking, really.

295
00:17:26,493 --> 00:17:27,529
Me?

296
00:17:29,910 --> 00:17:31,774
Oh, I don't really know.

297
00:17:33,155 --> 00:17:38,250
Listen, Snow, have you ever
actually shot a television show before?

298
00:17:40,749 --> 00:17:44,187
Nothing.
I don't know anything about it.

299
00:17:44,270 --> 00:17:47,569
I didn't know I was the producer
until Morris said it earlier.

300
00:17:47,652 --> 00:17:49,537
I don't even know
what a producer does.

301
00:17:49,620 --> 00:17:51,435
No one does.

302
00:17:51,518 --> 00:17:56,544
Uh, but, hey, we don't
have to tell anybody that yet.

303
00:17:56,627 --> 00:18:00,168
Okay. Look, I just wanted
to meet Wallace,

304
00:18:00,251 --> 00:18:03,137
and you all seem like
such a great team on the show.

305
00:18:03,220 --> 00:18:05,208
I just wanted to be
a part of it.

306
00:18:05,291 --> 00:18:07,762
I'd email Morris' company
every week

307
00:18:07,845 --> 00:18:09,833
so I can try and get involved,
but...

308
00:18:09,916 --> 00:18:11,400
Hey, and here we are.

309
00:18:13,437 --> 00:18:14,610
Are you paying, Morris?

310
00:18:17,441 --> 00:18:18,274
A lot?

311
00:18:19,374 --> 00:18:22,722
Everything I have. And I
borrowed a bit off Grandma.

312
00:18:27,865 --> 00:18:32,373
Say, Snow, has anybody told you
about the scanning machine yet?

313
00:18:32,456 --> 00:18:35,134
No, what's that?

314
00:18:35,217 --> 00:18:36,756
Well, it's just
the machine we use

315
00:18:36,839 --> 00:18:41,313
to scan the walls
and the floors.

316
00:18:41,396 --> 00:18:42,500
Oh.

317
00:18:44,571 --> 00:18:50,267
Yeah, it's really useful for
seeing through walls and floors.

318
00:18:52,821 --> 00:18:54,443
But what about
your X-ray machine?

319
00:18:57,722 --> 00:19:01,554
Sometimes we have to make props
to appease Wallace.

320
00:19:03,556 --> 00:19:05,268
Poppy and I have
gotten really good

321
00:19:05,351 --> 00:19:07,546
at using whatever happens
to be laying around.

322
00:19:23,265 --> 00:19:25,021
There are restless spirits
down here.

323
00:19:25,716 --> 00:19:29,223
Probably victims of the Vietnam
Nazi killing machine

324
00:19:29,306 --> 00:19:31,190
from Mars.

325
00:19:31,273 --> 00:19:34,242
Nope, no killing machine
from Mars, Vietnam, or the US.

326
00:19:35,726 --> 00:19:37,580
Yeah, I forgot.
You've been everywhere.

327
00:19:39,281 --> 00:19:42,512
Ah, Chet!
X-ray that wall with haste!

328
00:19:42,595 --> 00:19:45,446
We may have finally found
Tutankhamun's resting place!

329
00:19:45,529 --> 00:19:46,875
Oh, dear God.

330
00:19:52,605 --> 00:19:55,849
Sorry, Wallace,
that's a negative.

331
00:19:56,712 --> 00:19:58,562
Well, are you sure?
Measure it again.

332
00:19:58,645 --> 00:20:01,579
Ah, dang it!

333
00:20:02,546 --> 00:20:03,892
X-rays never lie.

334
00:20:04,789 --> 00:20:06,363
Ah, buttons.

335
00:20:06,446 --> 00:20:09,435
Well, he has gotten better
since then.

336
00:20:09,518 --> 00:20:12,981
With the history, I mean, we've still
got a few shoe boxes laying around.

337
00:20:15,283 --> 00:20:17,319
Yeah, well, that's broken.

338
00:20:18,838 --> 00:20:20,011
Oh.

339
00:20:29,780 --> 00:20:34,011
I'm gonna start off over there,
make my way around.

340
00:20:34,094 --> 00:20:36,787
All this stuff, what is
all this crap anyway?

341
00:20:37,788 --> 00:20:39,341
Antiques, I'm not sure.

342
00:20:40,894 --> 00:20:45,609
-Just throw it all out.
-No, it's probably really valuable to somebody.

343
00:20:45,692 --> 00:20:48,523
Besides, it adds
some "ambiance."

344
00:20:49,972 --> 00:20:51,788
Thinking of hurting myself.

345
00:20:51,871 --> 00:20:53,652
"Ambiance"?

346
00:20:53,735 --> 00:20:55,702
Anyway, how are
you and Chet doing?

347
00:20:56,565 --> 00:20:57,566
Fine.

348
00:20:58,429 --> 00:21:00,293
What do you think about Snow?

349
00:21:01,881 --> 00:21:03,572
Well, it's January
in New York...

350
00:21:04,573 --> 00:21:05,609
The "producer"?

351
00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:11,684
Oh, I didn't mean to look up her
skirt. I didn't see her tuppence.

352
00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:15,777
I just don't think
it's right for someone

353
00:21:15,860 --> 00:21:18,055
to think they can buy
their way into anything.

354
00:21:18,449 --> 00:21:20,071
What, like a movie theatre?

355
00:21:20,693 --> 00:21:24,579
No.
If you want to be part of this,

356
00:21:24,662 --> 00:21:26,823
then it should be based
on merit and tenacity,

357
00:21:26,906 --> 00:21:28,662
not on whether or not
you have money.

358
00:21:29,460 --> 00:21:32,946
It removes the integrity and
leaves things open for corruption.

359
00:21:34,810 --> 00:21:36,522
Yeah, no, right.

360
00:21:36,605 --> 00:21:39,663
Money has evil roots,

361
00:21:39,746 --> 00:21:42,715
or roots for evil money.

362
00:21:46,995 --> 00:21:48,741
Who's our sponsor
for this, by the way?

363
00:21:48,824 --> 00:21:51,019
-Uncle Morris said he had somebody.
-It's KFC,

364
00:21:51,102 --> 00:21:52,883
so don't forget to mention them
when you begin.

365
00:21:57,385 --> 00:21:59,373
What, so the world's biggest
fried chicken magnate

366
00:21:59,456 --> 00:22:02,065
loves my show,
whatever, no biggie.

367
00:22:14,919 --> 00:22:18,323
The spirits,
they are telling me.

368
00:22:18,406 --> 00:22:22,741
Watch Wallace Peebles Paranormal
Inspectre on the Hokum Channel,

369
00:22:22,824 --> 00:22:25,744
and get yourself
some KFC to munch on

370
00:22:25,827 --> 00:22:28,678
as you witness
the spewing truth.

371
00:22:31,902 --> 00:22:35,063
KFC is the only chicken

372
00:22:35,146 --> 00:22:38,584
tasty enough to exorcise us.

373
00:22:38,667 --> 00:22:39,737
Cut there.

374
00:22:41,049 --> 00:22:43,831
Oh, I thought that was great.

375
00:22:43,914 --> 00:22:46,399
Yeah, it's not that KFC.

376
00:22:48,850 --> 00:22:50,127
Action, Wallace.

377
00:22:56,478 --> 00:22:59,950
Ugh. Wallace Peebles
Paranormal Inspectre

378
00:23:00,033 --> 00:23:05,577
is brought to you by
Ken's Fancy Cheese of Gelfin,

379
00:23:05,660 --> 00:23:08,456
where they have
"not just murican."

380
00:23:10,665 --> 00:23:11,700
All right?

381
00:23:14,220 --> 00:23:16,498
Well, I like fancy cheese, so...

382
00:23:18,949 --> 00:23:19,970
Fu...

383
00:23:29,546 --> 00:23:30,863
Have you shot anything yet?

384
00:23:32,100 --> 00:23:35,538
Only the promo, but we've been
setting up cameras all day,

385
00:23:35,621 --> 00:23:38,955
and we're gonna run them overnight
to see if we can catch anything.

386
00:23:39,038 --> 00:23:40,764
You will do.

387
00:23:41,937 --> 00:23:43,062
I really hope so.

388
00:23:43,145 --> 00:23:45,168
No, listen to what I said.

389
00:23:45,251 --> 00:23:46,839
You will do.

390
00:23:49,082 --> 00:23:51,450
Oh, I'm sorry,
I don't understand.

391
00:23:51,533 --> 00:23:54,867
Let's say you're here for a week.
Nothing happens, then what?

392
00:23:54,950 --> 00:23:56,904
-Oh, well, I guess...
-That's blown your money

393
00:23:56,987 --> 00:23:58,871
I can't offer the sponsors
any action.

394
00:23:58,954 --> 00:24:01,426
Then the network
won't take the show

395
00:24:01,509 --> 00:24:04,729
if it's just Captain Dipshit wandering
around grabbing his forehead.

396
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:06,583
Captain?

397
00:24:08,170 --> 00:24:10,607
-Oh, you mean Wallace.
-Wallace.

398
00:24:10,690 --> 00:24:13,058
So, unless something happens,

399
00:24:13,141 --> 00:24:16,095
all we have is
a bloody expensive home video.

400
00:24:16,178 --> 00:24:17,525
Do you see, love?

401
00:24:20,113 --> 00:24:23,206
So something had better happen.

402
00:25:02,086 --> 00:25:03,156
Oh my God!

403
00:25:08,161 --> 00:25:09,286
Wallace, what are you doing?

404
00:25:09,369 --> 00:25:10,564
I'm getting out of here.

405
00:25:10,647 --> 00:25:11,634
This place is bloody haunted.

406
00:25:11,717 --> 00:25:13,946
Whoa there, son!

407
00:25:14,029 --> 00:25:16,086
What on earth
are you talking about?

408
00:25:16,169 --> 00:25:18,572
This is exactly what you
were looking for.

409
00:25:18,655 --> 00:25:20,746
-Didn't you see?
-We all saw it.

410
00:25:20,829 --> 00:25:23,508
We need to make sense of it now.
We need to investigate it.

411
00:25:23,591 --> 00:25:27,684
-Can't she do it?
-She is gonna disappear along with her money

412
00:25:27,767 --> 00:25:30,998
if you don't start acting like
a real paranormal inspector.

413
00:25:31,081 --> 00:25:32,275
Come on.

414
00:25:32,358 --> 00:25:34,277
Oh my God.

415
00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:37,052
Ugh, you gotta see this.

416
00:25:51,308 --> 00:25:53,676
Ha, ha, ha, that was my joke

417
00:25:53,759 --> 00:25:55,056
and you fell for it, Snow.

418
00:25:55,139 --> 00:25:56,359
Ha-ha, you've been hazed.

419
00:26:00,938 --> 00:26:04,894
He sleep walks all the time.

420
00:26:04,977 --> 00:26:08,290
I'm surprised we didn't get a
Wallace "sleep shit" on camera.

421
00:26:10,223 --> 00:26:11,296
That furniture though.

422
00:26:12,812 --> 00:26:13,848
And the noises.

423
00:26:17,748 --> 00:26:19,840
You're a sleep shit!

424
00:26:19,923 --> 00:26:22,083
I know that wasn't Wallace.

425
00:26:22,166 --> 00:26:24,983
Not the, the pee-pee stuff.
That was him.

426
00:26:25,066 --> 00:26:26,792
I mean the chair and the table.

427
00:26:29,001 --> 00:26:30,071
Oh, that was Snow.

428
00:26:31,451 --> 00:26:33,315
Not my first rodeo, kids.

429
00:26:35,766 --> 00:26:36,802
Oh.

430
00:26:38,700 --> 00:26:39,736
Progress?

431
00:26:41,358 --> 00:26:42,863
Oh, hi.

432
00:26:42,946 --> 00:26:44,658
I asked you a question.

433
00:26:44,741 --> 00:26:47,384
Uh, well, I haven't really
had time to...

434
00:26:47,467 --> 00:26:49,697
I need this done.

435
00:26:49,780 --> 00:26:52,769
I need everything taken care of
by the end of the week.

436
00:26:52,852 --> 00:26:55,096
My buyers lose interest
very quickly.

437
00:26:56,684 --> 00:26:57,926
It's a risky business.

438
00:26:59,134 --> 00:27:03,642
Aaaaaaah!

439
00:27:03,725 --> 00:27:05,748
Ow, fuck.

440
00:27:05,831 --> 00:27:07,246
Do we understand one another?

441
00:27:12,147 --> 00:27:14,667
Chet, are you okay?

442
00:27:15,254 --> 00:27:16,828
I thought I heard you talking.

443
00:27:16,911 --> 00:27:19,776
Yeah, I was just singing.

444
00:27:22,779 --> 00:27:25,747
Okay, don't give up
your day job.

445
00:27:26,990 --> 00:27:29,288
My day job, my day job,
yes good.

446
00:27:39,934 --> 00:27:41,729
Why did you?

447
00:27:45,905 --> 00:27:48,252
Because I'm a bad motherfucker.

448
00:27:49,357 --> 00:27:52,139
Now, I've made some
peanut butter cookies,

449
00:27:52,222 --> 00:27:54,866
share with your friends,
and check for allergies,

450
00:27:54,949 --> 00:27:57,731
and if you mention me,
I'll fucking kill you.

451
00:27:57,814 --> 00:28:00,437
And stay out of room 66.

452
00:28:14,451 --> 00:28:15,284
Hi, Wallace.

453
00:28:18,006 --> 00:28:20,906
Are you hungry?
I could fix you something.

454
00:28:21,976 --> 00:28:27,139
-No, I barely ever eat.
-Okay, well, I hope you won't hate me

455
00:28:27,222 --> 00:28:30,108
if I pass on messages
from Morris.

456
00:28:30,191 --> 00:28:31,399
He asked me to.

457
00:28:32,193 --> 00:28:33,870
You better get Chet to do it.

458
00:28:33,953 --> 00:28:36,942
I will definitely shout,
and I might pull your hair.

459
00:28:37,025 --> 00:28:39,462
Okay, well, he told me you
would say that,

460
00:28:39,545 --> 00:28:42,755
and if you did, he wanted me
to put bees in your pockets.

461
00:28:44,964 --> 00:28:49,969
Of course, I never would. I mean,
where would you find bees in January?

462
00:28:51,557 --> 00:28:52,869
Beehive.

463
00:28:54,042 --> 00:28:58,308
Okay, there is one urgent thing.

464
00:28:58,391 --> 00:29:00,863
Apparently, someone is filing

465
00:29:00,946 --> 00:29:03,189
a verbal assault charge
against you.

466
00:29:04,812 --> 00:29:07,317
Did you tell an old lady
to shove her peanuts

467
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:10,010
up her dirty asshole
in a children's play park?

468
00:29:10,093 --> 00:29:13,116
Oh my God, it was a petting zoo.

469
00:29:13,199 --> 00:29:15,498
She was feeding squirrels.

470
00:29:15,581 --> 00:29:18,397
I asked her if I could have one.
The miserable bag said no.

471
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,518
So... I hadn't eaten for hours.

472
00:29:22,174 --> 00:29:24,866
Well, an hour then.
My blood sugar was zero.

473
00:29:25,867 --> 00:29:31,134
Okay, well, apparently, she had acute
angina, and her grandchildren were upset

474
00:29:31,217 --> 00:29:34,241
because she didn't have
any pants on... probably.

475
00:29:34,324 --> 00:29:36,243
Oh, I suppose everybody else
just wears

476
00:29:36,326 --> 00:29:38,866
woolly trousers
in mid-July heat.

477
00:29:38,949 --> 00:29:40,557
Oh, America.

478
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:42,836
And how am I supposed to know
how cute her "vangina" is?

479
00:29:42,919 --> 00:29:44,127
I don't even care.

480
00:29:44,955 --> 00:29:46,805
I'll tell Morris you'll keep
your pants on.

481
00:29:46,888 --> 00:29:48,496
I don't know
what the world's coming to.

482
00:29:48,579 --> 00:29:49,995
I really don't.

483
00:29:51,203 --> 00:29:53,812
I know.

484
00:29:53,895 --> 00:29:56,334
Sometimes, I think I'm the only one who...

485
00:29:59,659 --> 00:30:00,868
Wallace...

486
00:30:04,078 --> 00:30:08,979
I've watched every piece you've
ever done, even the ones on MySpace.

487
00:30:10,947 --> 00:30:15,296
Wallace, you and I
have a lot in common.

488
00:30:16,331 --> 00:30:18,540
Okay, I hope you don't mind.

489
00:30:20,197 --> 00:30:21,267
But...

490
00:30:23,166 --> 00:30:25,340
I lost my parents
when I was young as well.

491
00:30:27,964 --> 00:30:32,416
And my sister hates me like
your uncle Morris hates you.

492
00:30:35,316 --> 00:30:37,007
An odious minge.

493
00:30:39,044 --> 00:30:42,378
That's what she called me
the last time I saw her.

494
00:30:42,461 --> 00:30:45,326
It does sound like Morris.

495
00:30:47,397 --> 00:30:49,419
You know, it was
in the doctor's office

496
00:30:49,502 --> 00:30:51,502
when I was getting treated
for depression.

497
00:30:57,338 --> 00:30:58,558
I'm all good now, though.

498
00:30:59,547 --> 00:31:00,582
Thanks to you.

499
00:31:02,205 --> 00:31:03,364
Me?

500
00:31:03,447 --> 00:31:04,987
Yeah.

501
00:31:05,070 --> 00:31:07,230
Well, I mean, even though
I never met you,

502
00:31:07,313 --> 00:31:08,970
you were
like a best friend to me.

503
00:31:10,109 --> 00:31:12,442
I was on all your adventures
with you.

504
00:31:12,525 --> 00:31:14,272
I waited for weeks
until I can see

505
00:31:14,355 --> 00:31:16,515
another one of your shows again.

506
00:31:16,598 --> 00:31:18,531
Sometimes,
I was your only viewer.

507
00:31:20,050 --> 00:31:24,572
And I never wrote anything in the
comments section. I was too shy.

508
00:31:26,505 --> 00:31:28,231
Well, I never read those anyway.

509
00:31:29,473 --> 00:31:30,509
I know.

510
00:31:31,544 --> 00:31:32,715
Those people are horrid.

511
00:31:34,030 --> 00:31:35,100
So cruel.

512
00:31:36,618 --> 00:31:39,124
Hey, when you said
that you first got

513
00:31:39,207 --> 00:31:40,988
into paranormal investigating

514
00:31:41,071 --> 00:31:43,559
because you wanted to
make contact with your parents,

515
00:31:45,041 --> 00:31:47,090
I just thought that was
the sweetest thing.

516
00:31:48,216 --> 00:31:53,690
Anyhow, thank you, Wallace.

517
00:31:53,773 --> 00:31:56,362
Thank you for being my
inspiration and my best friend.

518
00:31:59,331 --> 00:32:00,401
Very welcome.

519
00:32:02,990 --> 00:32:06,269
And just know that you can count
on me, no matter what.

520
00:32:08,996 --> 00:32:12,295
When you're in the public eye,
famous... whatever,

521
00:32:12,378 --> 00:32:14,125
You get the odd weirdo
who thinks

522
00:32:14,208 --> 00:32:16,679
they can just hook
onto your success.

523
00:32:16,762 --> 00:32:18,957
I mean, the guy in my position
has got to ask himself,

524
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:22,236
is a chick interested in me
or my international fame

525
00:32:22,319 --> 00:32:24,376
-and success?
-Do you?

526
00:32:24,459 --> 00:32:25,529
Yeah.

527
00:32:26,979 --> 00:32:31,211
But Snow's the real deal. She's
actually paying to be my friend.

528
00:32:31,294 --> 00:32:34,386
Now you can't ask
for a more dedicated

529
00:32:34,469 --> 00:32:36,664
and stable person than that.

530
00:32:36,747 --> 00:32:39,164
Did you ever make contact
with your parents?

531
00:32:40,165 --> 00:32:41,235
Ah, probably moved.

532
00:32:49,346 --> 00:32:53,233
Okay, Wallace, we need to be ready
after sunset to head down to the basement.

533
00:32:53,316 --> 00:32:56,340
We're gonna start there and
work our way up one floor per night.

534
00:32:57,251 --> 00:33:00,426
-Will you be there?
-Of course, I'll be there, everybody will.

535
00:33:01,358 --> 00:33:03,691
By the way, where's Chet?
He keeps disappearing.

536
00:33:03,774 --> 00:33:08,434
Oh, I saw him tapping on the walls
and floor, looking for voids, I imagine.

537
00:33:09,746 --> 00:33:13,494
Oh, and I looked up those scanning
machines that he asked about.

538
00:33:13,577 --> 00:33:15,013
They are very expensive.

539
00:33:15,096 --> 00:33:17,222
What scanning machines?

540
00:33:17,305 --> 00:33:19,100
To see through walls and floors.

541
00:33:21,516 --> 00:33:25,472
Listen, Snow, we conduct our
business on perseverance and grit.

542
00:33:25,555 --> 00:33:30,132
We don't rely on flashy machines and
showmanship like all the other charlatans.

543
00:33:30,215 --> 00:33:33,307
This is Wallace's team.

544
00:33:33,390 --> 00:33:35,344
So if there are any enquiries
to be made,

545
00:33:35,427 --> 00:33:37,015
they need to go
through me, okay?

546
00:33:39,327 --> 00:33:41,364
Okay then, sorry.

547
00:33:43,193 --> 00:33:47,287
Yeah, Snow, if that's
even your real name.

548
00:33:47,370 --> 00:33:49,461
No, Wallace, I think that is
her real name.

549
00:33:49,544 --> 00:33:52,133
I was just letting her know
that I am the boss.

550
00:33:53,652 --> 00:33:54,825
Of my show.

551
00:34:08,425 --> 00:34:10,241
If you wanna buy
something, Chet,

552
00:34:10,324 --> 00:34:13,658
there's a procedure
and you have to go through me.

553
00:34:13,741 --> 00:34:15,832
I haven't even gotten
a figure in for Morris yet,

554
00:34:15,915 --> 00:34:17,800
but I can guarantee
it's not gonna be enough

555
00:34:17,883 --> 00:34:19,836
for us to go buying
expensive equipment.

556
00:34:19,919 --> 00:34:22,736
No, I asked Snow
if she would buy it.

557
00:34:22,819 --> 00:34:24,772
You can't do that.

558
00:34:24,855 --> 00:34:27,775
Damn it, Chet, she's not your
grandmother at a candy shop.

559
00:34:27,858 --> 00:34:31,745
Anything she spends has to be
reconciled by the show.

560
00:34:31,828 --> 00:34:35,832
And if the show doesn't do well,
then we are the ones paying it back.

561
00:34:36,936 --> 00:34:40,216
Besides, what happened to the
owners that are paying us something?

562
00:34:41,286 --> 00:34:44,102
I don't think they'll actually
give us anything until we're done.

563
00:34:44,185 --> 00:34:48,762
So the show has to do well,
because if it doesn't, we are over.

564
00:34:48,845 --> 00:34:51,799
We are dead in the water.

565
00:34:51,882 --> 00:34:56,335
We have to make this great and we
have to do it for as little as possible.

566
00:34:57,716 --> 00:35:02,155
Okay, well,
what if we had an angle?

567
00:35:02,238 --> 00:35:05,365
Paranormal investigation
is an angle, that's what we do.

568
00:35:05,448 --> 00:35:08,713
I know, but what if,

569
00:35:08,796 --> 00:35:11,750
and I'm just off the top
of my head here,

570
00:35:11,833 --> 00:35:15,375
if we were searching
for maybe some,

571
00:35:15,458 --> 00:35:17,584
I don't know, some jewels?

572
00:35:17,667 --> 00:35:22,830
Yeah, like the long lost
Irish crown jewels,

573
00:35:22,913 --> 00:35:26,524
and they're hidden somewhere
in this warehouse.

574
00:35:26,607 --> 00:35:28,781
It's haunted
with ghosts and everything.

575
00:35:32,268 --> 00:35:35,257
That is absolutely ridiculous,
Chet.

576
00:35:35,340 --> 00:35:37,638
It sounds like a freaking
kids show.

577
00:35:37,721 --> 00:35:40,779
I know, right?
It could be awesome.

578
00:35:40,862 --> 00:35:42,747
It would help sell the show,
I know,

579
00:35:42,830 --> 00:35:45,577
but do I wanna be part of that?

580
00:35:45,660 --> 00:35:49,236
I know it looks like a bunch
of idiots chasing after ghosts,

581
00:35:49,319 --> 00:35:51,480
but actually,
it's just a few idiots

582
00:35:51,563 --> 00:35:53,723
and an academic studying them.

583
00:35:53,806 --> 00:35:56,864
For me, this is a forum
so I can do my work.

584
00:35:56,947 --> 00:35:58,797
I mean, where does it end?

585
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,368
Morris would want me doing it
in a bikini, I'm sure.

586
00:36:05,232 --> 00:36:10,892
Oh, oh, yeah, yes, yes, yes, I could accommodate that.

587
00:36:14,689 --> 00:36:19,487
Yeah, maybe you could like, sex
it up a bit, give it a little pizzazz.

588
00:36:23,595 --> 00:36:26,563
Nope, we don't need to do that.

589
00:36:30,567 --> 00:36:32,279
So it could
be kind of a motivation

590
00:36:32,362 --> 00:36:33,970
for all of us being here.

591
00:36:34,053 --> 00:36:36,387
There's some sort of treasure
hidden inside the building.

592
00:36:36,470 --> 00:36:39,217
Guarded by spirits,
what we're gonna need to do

593
00:36:39,300 --> 00:36:41,992
is cleanse the space
and retrieve the treasure.

594
00:36:43,304 --> 00:36:44,705
What kind of treasure?

595
00:36:44,788 --> 00:36:48,330
Well, it could be anything,
we decide that.

596
00:36:48,413 --> 00:36:51,278
Could be jewels, you know,
probably jewels.

597
00:36:53,003 --> 00:36:55,765
Hidden in the walls
and the floors.

598
00:36:58,492 --> 00:37:00,514
Well, how do we know it's there?

599
00:37:00,597 --> 00:37:02,206
Well, we could
write something in,

600
00:37:02,289 --> 00:37:03,621
I mean, whether it's based
on a legend

601
00:37:03,704 --> 00:37:04,924
that we're picking up on.

602
00:37:05,878 --> 00:37:07,832
So there might be some jewels.

603
00:37:07,915 --> 00:37:10,214
Well, I mean, we should
definitely look for them.

604
00:37:10,297 --> 00:37:13,334
-You know, for real though.
-Yeah, we need to stay authentic.

605
00:37:15,371 --> 00:37:18,636
Are you all high?
Are there jewels or not?

606
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:21,846
No, Wallace, in real life
there are no jewels.

607
00:37:21,929 --> 00:37:24,020
Poppy is just saying
that for the show.

608
00:37:24,103 --> 00:37:25,815
We could just pretend
that they are

609
00:37:25,898 --> 00:37:27,300
so more people
would watch the show

610
00:37:27,383 --> 00:37:28,956
and we will get more success.

611
00:37:29,039 --> 00:37:32,560
We can make more shows
with more money.

612
00:37:34,113 --> 00:37:36,516
No? Okay.

613
00:37:36,599 --> 00:37:39,035
It's a bit like Christmas, okay?

614
00:37:39,118 --> 00:37:41,452
It's actually a religious
holiday for Christians,

615
00:37:41,535 --> 00:37:45,283
but most people think of Santa
Claus and shopping for presents

616
00:37:45,366 --> 00:37:46,871
so that everyone
in the capitalist society

617
00:37:46,954 --> 00:37:48,873
can really benefit
from people's beliefs.

618
00:37:48,956 --> 00:37:50,406
People love magic.

619
00:37:54,720 --> 00:37:56,183
There isn't really a downside.

620
00:37:57,654 --> 00:37:59,021
Except for the people
that feel like

621
00:37:59,104 --> 00:38:01,071
their beliefs
have been exploited.

622
00:38:02,349 --> 00:38:04,647
But that's an acceptable loss.

623
00:38:04,730 --> 00:38:07,409
You see, capitalism
doesn't care about them.

624
00:38:07,492 --> 00:38:10,860
So it succeeds in
evolutionary terms.

625
00:38:10,943 --> 00:38:14,982
The vast majority benefit while
a tiny minority grumble a little.

626
00:38:15,948 --> 00:38:19,662
Wallace, all we are doing is
giving the audience a Santa Claus.

627
00:38:19,745 --> 00:38:22,941
And we still have
the true meaning of Christmas.

628
00:38:23,024 --> 00:38:25,613
An acceptable loss.

629
00:38:26,856 --> 00:38:28,547
Snow isn't an idiot.

630
00:38:30,894 --> 00:38:33,000
So do I get presents?

631
00:38:36,831 --> 00:38:40,787
-No, I've already sold it.
-So this wouldn't give you any more markets to try?

632
00:38:40,870 --> 00:38:43,790
No, we're on the Hokum Channel.
Deal done.

633
00:38:43,873 --> 00:38:47,690
Okay, what if we, what if
there's actual jewels, huh?

634
00:38:47,773 --> 00:38:51,188
-You ever think of that?
-What if I sacked you and got a real cameraman?

635
00:38:52,088 --> 00:38:54,594
Okay, Morris, I know this
is an inconvenience for you.

636
00:38:54,677 --> 00:38:56,872
We get it.
But for us, this has to work.

637
00:38:56,955 --> 00:38:59,599
We have to give ourselves
the best chance.

638
00:38:59,682 --> 00:39:01,808
And isn't it true that searching
for treasure

639
00:39:01,891 --> 00:39:06,606
in a haunted location is a much better
hook than just some phony ghost show?

640
00:39:06,689 --> 00:39:08,055
Hey!

641
00:39:08,138 --> 00:39:11,418
I suppose.
But I've done the deal.

642
00:39:12,211 --> 00:39:14,924
So how about we shoot
the show as normal,

643
00:39:15,007 --> 00:39:19,426
but take the extra footage
and recreate the narrative?

644
00:39:20,081 --> 00:39:22,670
Like an alternative edit.

645
00:39:24,603 --> 00:39:25,694
A Wallace cut.

646
00:39:25,777 --> 00:39:27,606
Shut your face, Dick Splash.

647
00:39:29,436 --> 00:39:31,044
This special could come out
later in the year,

648
00:39:31,127 --> 00:39:32,646
two shows for the price of one.

649
00:39:34,061 --> 00:39:35,600
Would you need more crew?

650
00:39:35,683 --> 00:39:37,878
Well, we have the mini cameras.

651
00:39:37,961 --> 00:39:39,653
We could run those all the time.

652
00:39:40,654 --> 00:39:42,607
Aaah, go on then.

653
00:39:42,690 --> 00:39:44,920
-Thank you, Morris.
-Maybe we could bump Wallace off

654
00:39:45,003 --> 00:39:47,025
in an industrial accident
at the end.

655
00:39:47,108 --> 00:39:49,442
Well, no, we're gonna need him
for more shows.

656
00:39:49,525 --> 00:39:51,823
Well, just maim him then.
Burn his hand or something.

657
00:39:51,906 --> 00:39:54,688
Burn his hand off. Burn his hand
off, then he can have a hook hand.

658
00:39:54,771 --> 00:39:57,553
That'll look brill in the
artwork and such, won't it?

659
00:39:57,636 --> 00:39:59,797
Oh, Morris?

660
00:39:59,880 --> 00:40:02,538
Breaking up. Oh, see.

661
00:40:03,884 --> 00:40:04,919
Later.

662
00:40:08,544 --> 00:40:11,892
I expect you'd probably think
I'm a bit harsh on Wallace.

663
00:40:13,100 --> 00:40:17,691
But the truth is, I have to be.

664
00:40:21,660 --> 00:40:23,628
With him being such a cunt.

665
00:40:46,305 --> 00:40:48,722
Greetings, believers.

666
00:40:56,315 --> 00:41:02,100
New York, 1907. An Irish
freighter ship docks in the docks.

667
00:41:02,183 --> 00:41:06,622
A stowaway onboard disembarks
off board with an Irish hoard.

668
00:41:06,705 --> 00:41:09,639
An Irish hoard!

669
00:41:18,924 --> 00:41:21,982
Behind me is the place where
the stowaway would go away.

670
00:41:22,065 --> 00:41:26,725
A huge bonded warehouse that was
soon to become the hiding place for...

671
00:41:28,900 --> 00:41:30,108
the Irish crown jewels.

672
00:41:31,937 --> 00:41:34,650
Now, although that story
was a load of "crap"

673
00:41:34,733 --> 00:41:38,620
that I "made up,"
we have it on great authority

674
00:41:38,703 --> 00:41:41,139
that this location
is in fact not only

675
00:41:41,222 --> 00:41:43,832
the final resting place
for the Irish crown jewels,

676
00:41:43,915 --> 00:41:47,021
but also the tricky bastard
that stole them.

677
00:41:53,096 --> 00:41:54,132
I mean he's dead.

678
00:41:55,443 --> 00:42:01,056
And his ghost haunts this
building and guards the jewels.

679
00:42:01,139 --> 00:42:03,265
There is absolutely no evidence
to suggest

680
00:42:03,348 --> 00:42:05,543
that the jewels did not
arrive here in the manner

681
00:42:05,626 --> 00:42:08,857
that to which I have just
suggested and indeed said.

682
00:42:08,940 --> 00:42:12,564
So join me now as my team
and I delve into the unknown.

683
00:42:14,083 --> 00:42:16,913
Chet is our camera
and technical wiz.

684
00:42:19,675 --> 00:42:22,263
Poppy is our sceptic,
hot science chick.

685
00:42:25,957 --> 00:42:26,854
This is Snow.

686
00:42:30,893 --> 00:42:33,136
You know when he's on it,
he's on it.

687
00:42:49,739 --> 00:42:51,278
So we're starting
at the lowest level

688
00:42:51,361 --> 00:42:53,660
and we're gonna go through
each one methodically

689
00:42:53,743 --> 00:42:54,903
throughout the entire building

690
00:42:54,986 --> 00:42:57,906
to check for
paranormal activity.

691
00:42:57,989 --> 00:43:00,633
And we're starting
in the most likely place

692
00:43:00,716 --> 00:43:03,325
because it's thought the witches
may have been hanged here

693
00:43:03,408 --> 00:43:06,155
as part of the 19th century
Salem Witch Trials.

694
00:43:06,238 --> 00:43:08,848
No, again Wallace,
that was Salem

695
00:43:08,931 --> 00:43:10,332
in the 17th century.

696
00:43:10,415 --> 00:43:11,623
Mmm.

697
00:43:14,039 --> 00:43:15,834
I'm getting a very
sulphurous smell.

698
00:43:16,317 --> 00:43:19,375
Um, kind of like...
...pungent.

699
00:43:19,458 --> 00:43:22,275
Maybe somebody's got
a little bit excited

700
00:43:22,358 --> 00:43:24,774
and made a rude smell
with their bottom.

701
00:43:28,916 --> 00:43:32,230
Okay, so we're gonna make
our way over to the old...

702
00:43:33,334 --> 00:43:34,922
Hey, you guys want some noodles?

703
00:43:35,682 --> 00:43:37,925
Wallace I think
there's a spicy shrimp left.

704
00:43:40,376 --> 00:43:41,895
Poppy he's done it again.

705
00:43:42,930 --> 00:43:45,418
He's done it again,
Poppy, he's ruined another shot.

706
00:43:49,696 --> 00:43:52,167
He's ruined another one
of my investigations.

707
00:43:54,770 --> 00:43:55,805
Guys.

708
00:43:56,841 --> 00:43:58,656
You need to see this.

709
00:43:58,739 --> 00:44:01,259
I've had enough of
Wallace's flip outs.

710
00:44:21,072 --> 00:44:22,142
Wallace.

711
00:44:23,419 --> 00:44:26,097
So, Snow did this
weird calming technique

712
00:44:26,180 --> 00:44:29,791
that seemed to soothe Wallace so
that we could get back to the show.

713
00:44:29,874 --> 00:44:32,117
I'm a psychiatric nurse.
Thanks for asking.

714
00:44:43,888 --> 00:44:46,014
-This isn't a joke, right?
-No, it's a warning.

715
00:44:46,097 --> 00:44:49,017
-You didn't touch it, did you?
-God, no.

716
00:44:49,100 --> 00:44:52,710
Let me do some tests on that
and see if we can get any answers.

717
00:44:52,793 --> 00:44:55,126
Tests, what tests?

718
00:44:55,209 --> 00:44:58,716
Wow, forensics, I love it.

719
00:44:58,799 --> 00:45:00,939
Forensics?
What are you talking about?

720
00:45:03,804 --> 00:45:07,290
Oh, man, I didn't know
we were rolling.

721
00:45:08,429 --> 00:45:10,673
Well, we'll have to
do it again now, aren't we?

722
00:45:12,364 --> 00:45:15,871
-Sorry.
-Does anybody know what gets fake blood out?

723
00:45:15,954 --> 00:45:20,427
-Oh, no, it's real.
-Christ, it might have fucking rabies!

724
00:45:50,057 --> 00:45:51,990
Hey, shut up, Wallace.

725
00:46:06,591 --> 00:46:07,799
Who's there?

726
00:46:08,973 --> 00:46:10,043
Wallace?

727
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:37,553
He's very good at it.

728
00:46:47,425 --> 00:46:48,460
What?

729
00:46:54,501 --> 00:46:55,571
What?

730
00:47:12,312 --> 00:47:14,072
What do you want with my soul?

731
00:47:29,985 --> 00:47:31,593
Is this, is this Ethel?

732
00:47:31,676 --> 00:47:32,884
Is she Satan?

733
00:47:36,992 --> 00:47:38,338
What if I say no?

734
00:47:47,554 --> 00:47:50,557
I'll just go. Let me just go.
I'll leave. I'll leave tonight.

735
00:48:06,987 --> 00:48:10,494
-Come on.
-Is there anything up there?

736
00:48:10,577 --> 00:48:13,290
Uh, no, I haven't
found anything yet,

737
00:48:13,373 --> 00:48:17,328
but I was, I had to, uh,

738
00:48:17,411 --> 00:48:20,055
-shit!
-Thanks for the intel.

739
00:48:20,138 --> 00:48:22,138
You should probably
keep that to yourself.

740
00:48:23,072 --> 00:48:27,649
Good morning, team. Look who I found
dropping off a lovely selection of hats.

741
00:48:27,732 --> 00:48:30,169
This is Marjorie, everybody,
and she's the owner.

742
00:48:30,252 --> 00:48:35,105
Hello, everybody. I just wanted to
make sure you were warm enough.

743
00:48:35,188 --> 00:48:36,258
Hi, Chet.

744
00:48:37,224 --> 00:48:38,315
Hi

745
00:48:38,398 --> 00:48:40,110
Now, I hope you don't mind,

746
00:48:40,193 --> 00:48:41,905
but I made some
chocolate chip cookies.

747
00:48:41,988 --> 00:48:43,492
I used real flour and butter,

748
00:48:43,575 --> 00:48:47,324
so if anybody's vegan or needs
to avoid gluten,

749
00:48:47,407 --> 00:48:50,465
well, I can make some new ones,
you know, without the, um...

750
00:48:50,548 --> 00:48:52,950
Oh, thanks, Marjorie,
that's really kind,

751
00:48:53,033 --> 00:48:56,057
we're just looking at some of last night's
footage. Do you wanna have a look?

752
00:48:56,140 --> 00:48:59,957
Oh, if you don't mind.
Although I don't know,

753
00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:02,442
if this old heart can take
too much excitement.

754
00:49:02,525 --> 00:49:06,584
Actually, it doesn't really look
like we captured a whole lot.

755
00:49:06,667 --> 00:49:10,243
We are having a seance tonight,
so if you wanna come out later.

756
00:49:10,326 --> 00:49:15,145
-Ooh, fancy.
-Yeah, Wallace is going to attempt to make contact

757
00:49:15,228 --> 00:49:17,033
with the spirits,
aren't you, Wallace?

758
00:49:18,196 --> 00:49:20,633
-Big time.
-He's got nerves of steel,

759
00:49:20,716 --> 00:49:24,464
spending the night in this
haunted warehouse all alone

760
00:49:24,547 --> 00:49:26,108
with just the ghosts
for company.

761
00:49:27,757 --> 00:49:31,299
-Um...
-We'll be outside in a truck monitoring,

762
00:49:31,382 --> 00:49:32,748
so if you'd want to come by.

763
00:49:33,694 --> 00:49:35,613
Oh, thank you so much
for asking,

764
00:49:35,696 --> 00:49:39,169
but I can't let down the ladies
at Gin Rummy.

765
00:49:39,252 --> 00:49:42,689
Besides, I've had my fill
of ghosts from this place.

766
00:49:42,772 --> 00:49:46,970
Oh, of course. Well, don't worry,
Marjorie, because you hired the right team

767
00:49:47,053 --> 00:49:50,159
-to get the spooks out of here.
-And find the treasure.

768
00:49:53,197 --> 00:49:56,634
Oh, Chet texted me about
your new angle for the show.

769
00:49:56,717 --> 00:49:59,499
-I mean, I think it's super.
-Oh, okay.

770
00:49:59,582 --> 00:50:02,571
-We probably should have asked you first.
-Oh, don't you worry now.

771
00:50:02,654 --> 00:50:08,025
This place is full of so much
history, so many secrets.

772
00:50:08,108 --> 00:50:09,613
I wouldn't be surprised
if there were

773
00:50:09,696 --> 00:50:12,340
a treasure hidden
here some place.

774
00:50:12,423 --> 00:50:15,136
But do not go into room 66.

775
00:50:15,219 --> 00:50:17,207
It's dangerous in there.

776
00:50:17,290 --> 00:50:20,258
There's exposed electrics
and the floor is missing.

777
00:50:21,328 --> 00:50:22,502
Just don't go in there.

778
00:50:27,403 --> 00:50:31,359
Nay, nay, and thrice, nay.

779
00:50:31,442 --> 00:50:33,223
We're gonna be right outside,
Wallace.

780
00:50:33,306 --> 00:50:35,121
I don't give a shiny shite.
I'm not doing it.

781
00:50:35,204 --> 00:50:37,710
And we're gonna be in
radio contact the entire time.

782
00:50:37,793 --> 00:50:39,312
Why are you so worried?

783
00:50:41,348 --> 00:50:43,109
What about that bat?

784
00:50:44,869 --> 00:50:48,769
Somebody or something
had to stab that bat.

785
00:50:49,805 --> 00:50:52,345
And you can bet my gibbous
nut sack like I'll be next

786
00:50:52,428 --> 00:50:55,072
because they always go
for the celebrity first.

787
00:50:55,155 --> 00:50:57,419
I don't have any answers
about the bat,

788
00:50:57,502 --> 00:51:00,284
but we have to film
the seance tonight.

789
00:51:00,367 --> 00:51:04,668
We cannot do a Wallace
Peebles Show without one.

790
00:51:04,751 --> 00:51:07,153
Well, why do you have to be outside?
Why can't you be up here with me?

791
00:51:07,236 --> 00:51:09,604
Jesus, Wallace,
you're the one always going on

792
00:51:09,687 --> 00:51:12,365
about interference and wanting
to work alone.

793
00:51:12,448 --> 00:51:14,747
Why are you getting
cold feet now?

794
00:51:14,830 --> 00:51:17,336
Stabbed bat.

795
00:51:17,419 --> 00:51:20,235
And also that CCTV stuff,
the furniture falling over.

796
00:51:20,318 --> 00:51:21,586
All that, what about that?

797
00:51:23,839 --> 00:51:27,656
-Yeah, and I have something as well.
-Shut up, Chet.

798
00:51:27,739 --> 00:51:29,624
I've indulged you
long enough, Wallace.

799
00:51:29,707 --> 00:51:31,488
Are you a legitimate
investigator

800
00:51:31,571 --> 00:51:34,456
or just some fame-hungry,
hackneyed charlatan?

801
00:51:34,539 --> 00:51:36,872
Paranormal Inspectre,
spelled T-R-E.

802
00:51:36,955 --> 00:51:40,876
-It's my thing.
-Oh, I can think of a dozen inspectors

803
00:51:40,959 --> 00:51:45,295
who would love to stay the night in
this haunted house and film a seance.

804
00:51:45,378 --> 00:51:47,207
Why aren't you on that list?

805
00:51:51,280 --> 00:51:54,269
I've seen you do far scarier
things than this, Wallace.

806
00:51:54,352 --> 00:51:57,424
Remember the old colonial house
with the angry mistress?

807
00:52:00,255 --> 00:52:01,656
Yeah, we made that up.

808
00:52:01,739 --> 00:52:03,534
No, we didn't, Wallace.

809
00:52:05,432 --> 00:52:07,765
Just some of them.

810
00:52:07,848 --> 00:52:10,354
All right, all right, look,
everybody just chill.

811
00:52:10,437 --> 00:52:11,998
We're all losing our minds here.

812
00:52:13,751 --> 00:52:18,742
So, sometimes
we may have embellished

813
00:52:18,825 --> 00:52:19,947
the truth a little bit.

814
00:52:22,518 --> 00:52:25,197
But it was purely for
entertainment purposes.

815
00:52:25,280 --> 00:52:26,715
It was no different than
what we're doing now

816
00:52:26,798 --> 00:52:28,890
with the whole
hidden treasure idea.

817
00:52:28,973 --> 00:52:31,824
Or like tying fishing line
to furniture

818
00:52:31,907 --> 00:52:33,584
and pulling it over.

819
00:52:33,667 --> 00:52:35,241
Mm-hmm, yeah.

820
00:52:35,324 --> 00:52:38,348
But the thing is, we are
paranormal investigators,

821
00:52:38,431 --> 00:52:39,797
ghost hunters.

822
00:52:39,880 --> 00:52:42,731
We seek the truth
and it is out there.

823
00:52:42,814 --> 00:52:45,148
And we've often found things

824
00:52:45,231 --> 00:52:48,151
that we simply cannot explain.

825
00:52:48,234 --> 00:52:53,273
Wait, the furniture?
That was you?

826
00:52:56,863 --> 00:52:59,886
You got me, oh, awesome work.

827
00:52:59,969 --> 00:53:01,612
The vampire as well?

828
00:53:01,695 --> 00:53:03,511
And that cartoon mouse,
how did you do that?

829
00:53:03,594 --> 00:53:04,822
That was amazing.

830
00:53:04,905 --> 00:53:06,252
Morris said I should do it.

831
00:53:07,356 --> 00:53:08,861
He said that if I didn't make
something happen,

832
00:53:08,944 --> 00:53:11,553
that the show would fail,
I would lose my money,

833
00:53:11,636 --> 00:53:13,295
and the show wouldn't
get finished.

834
00:53:14,743 --> 00:53:16,489
I thought that Wallace
would be ruined.

835
00:53:16,572 --> 00:53:17,849
He said that to you?

836
00:53:18,678 --> 00:53:21,267
How much money have
you paid Morris, Snow?

837
00:53:22,785 --> 00:53:26,479
Altogether, including what
I borrowed from Grandma.

838
00:53:27,687 --> 00:53:29,502
342...

839
00:53:29,585 --> 00:53:30,848
Thousand?

840
00:53:30,931 --> 00:53:32,919
No, dollars.

841
00:53:33,002 --> 00:53:34,921
He held 250 for production fees,

842
00:53:35,004 --> 00:53:38,801
so we have a $92 budget left.

843
00:53:50,882 --> 00:53:52,505
So we have enough for lunch.

844
00:54:05,587 --> 00:54:07,382
Wallace, can you hear me, over?

845
00:54:10,074 --> 00:54:12,614
Wallace, are you nodding?

846
00:54:12,697 --> 00:54:13,819
We can't see you, over.

847
00:54:15,769 --> 00:54:17,392
I am nodding, over?

848
00:54:18,116 --> 00:54:19,897
Wait, you can't see me?

849
00:54:19,980 --> 00:54:22,383
No, but we can hear you though.

850
00:54:22,466 --> 00:54:24,971
And
just so you're aware,

851
00:54:25,054 --> 00:54:27,698
we're gonna be able to view
this footage later.

852
00:54:27,781 --> 00:54:30,460
Mm-hmm, of course.

853
00:54:30,543 --> 00:54:32,924
Okay, great,
are you ready, over?

854
00:54:34,132 --> 00:54:35,341
For what?

855
00:54:35,858 --> 00:54:37,812
Are you ready to
start the seance?

856
00:54:37,895 --> 00:54:41,471
I am not, over.

857
00:54:41,554 --> 00:54:43,921
Wallace, we believe in you.

858
00:54:44,004 --> 00:54:47,649
We were just discussing
that despite everything,

859
00:54:47,732 --> 00:54:49,444
and no matter how
desperate we are,

860
00:54:49,527 --> 00:54:52,275
we can rely on you
to bring it home

861
00:54:52,358 --> 00:54:53,578
when it matters the most.

862
00:54:57,880 --> 00:55:02,043
Remember, Wallace, you were
always my inspiration.

863
00:55:02,126 --> 00:55:04,028
I'm always on your side,
no matter what.

864
00:55:05,819 --> 00:55:06,889
Over.

865
00:55:15,519 --> 00:55:16,865
Can you smell eggs?

866
00:55:20,524 --> 00:55:21,697
Oh, hey, big guy.

867
00:55:22,664 --> 00:55:25,874
You ready to go play with some
ghosties and ghoulies, over?

868
00:55:28,980 --> 00:55:33,813
Chester, I was born to play
with ghoulies.

869
00:55:35,193 --> 00:55:36,436
Over.

870
00:55:56,491 --> 00:55:58,389
Are there any spirits present?

871
00:56:01,150 --> 00:56:03,932
I respect your territory
and your power,

872
00:56:04,015 --> 00:56:05,810
but I wish to
communicate with you.

873
00:56:08,917 --> 00:56:10,574
Come on, don't be shy.

874
00:56:16,131 --> 00:56:17,636
Well, if you can't be
bothered then why should...

875
00:56:17,719 --> 00:56:19,410
Fuck me.

876
00:56:20,480 --> 00:56:22,655
What was that, Wallace?
What can you see?

877
00:56:23,725 --> 00:56:25,471
A scream.

878
00:56:25,554 --> 00:56:26,969
A really, really loud scream.

879
00:56:27,660 --> 00:56:28,799
Can you see anything?

880
00:56:30,456 --> 00:56:31,836
I can't move.

881
00:56:33,562 --> 00:56:35,530
I don't wanna move,
I don't like it.

882
00:56:36,462 --> 00:56:39,071
Hey, Wallace, do you think that
you could say over

883
00:56:39,154 --> 00:56:40,693
after you're done speaking?

884
00:56:40,776 --> 00:56:42,143
It's just good radio etiquette.

885
00:56:42,226 --> 00:56:44,387
Shut up, Chet.

886
00:56:44,470 --> 00:56:45,422
Wallace?

887
00:56:47,024 --> 00:56:48,094
Wallace?

888
00:56:51,891 --> 00:56:52,754
Something's here.

889
00:56:56,551 --> 00:56:57,986
Something's here,
something's coming.

890
00:56:58,069 --> 00:56:58,932
Wallace?

891
00:57:00,002 --> 00:57:01,901
Something's attacking me,
something...

892
00:57:03,005 --> 00:57:04,213
What does it look like?

893
00:57:05,352 --> 00:57:08,756
Is it a greyish blue monster
with really sharp teeth

894
00:57:08,839 --> 00:57:10,758
like a vampire, a scary kind?

895
00:57:10,841 --> 00:57:13,830
No, not the teenage girls think
I'm misunderstood kind.

896
00:57:13,913 --> 00:57:15,935
What is it with you
and the vampire?

897
00:57:16,018 --> 00:57:17,661
I was trying to tell you that.

898
00:57:19,505 --> 00:57:20,713
Something's here.

899
00:57:21,955 --> 00:57:23,992
Oh, God, no, over.

900
00:57:31,309 --> 00:57:34,796
Wallace, are you okay?
Wallace, we have no visual over.

901
00:57:37,799 --> 00:57:39,628
There's something here, over

902
00:57:41,630 --> 00:57:45,171
Wallace, turn one of
the cameras around.

903
00:57:45,254 --> 00:57:46,635
What?

904
00:57:48,119 --> 00:57:50,038
We only have two cameras

905
00:57:50,121 --> 00:57:51,833
and they're both
pointing at Wallace.

906
00:57:51,916 --> 00:57:53,456
You gotta be kidding me, Chet.

907
00:57:53,539 --> 00:57:55,561
This is an actual real haunting
taking place

908
00:57:55,644 --> 00:57:57,254
and you don't have
a camera on it?

909
00:57:57,853 --> 00:57:59,841
No, I just figured
if something would happen,

910
00:57:59,924 --> 00:58:01,740
he would turn them around
himself.

911
00:58:01,823 --> 00:58:04,688
We need two angles
of him for the edit.

912
00:58:05,689 --> 00:58:08,229
He's the talent, Chet.
You can't expect him to think.

913
00:58:08,312 --> 00:58:10,127
Why only two cameras?

914
00:58:10,210 --> 00:58:14,042
Someone forgot to charge
the batteries last night.

915
00:58:17,355 --> 00:58:22,795
-Me.
-If you ruin this, Chet, I will never forgive you.

916
00:58:22,878 --> 00:58:27,697
Sorry, I have a lot on my mind. I had
a really terrifying experience last night.

917
00:58:27,780 --> 00:58:29,940
This is not the time
to play victim, Chet.

918
00:58:30,023 --> 00:58:31,128
Fix this.

919
00:58:32,267 --> 00:58:34,876
Wallace, pick up one of
the cameras off of the table

920
00:58:34,959 --> 00:58:39,156
and turn it around, over.
Wallace!

921
00:58:39,239 --> 00:58:41,814
Wallace! Shit! Over

922
00:58:41,897 --> 00:58:43,195
I'm going in.

923
00:58:43,278 --> 00:58:45,818
No, wait, we just have to
let this play out.

924
00:58:45,901 --> 00:58:48,663
He could be in danger.
He's not answering.

925
00:58:51,286 --> 00:58:52,529
Okay, let's go.

926
00:58:54,807 --> 00:58:57,761
Well, I have to run the cameras
and the sound.

927
00:58:57,844 --> 00:58:59,950
Damn it, Chet,
put your shoes on.

928
00:59:02,297 --> 00:59:03,540
Damn it, Wallace.

929
01:01:32,447 --> 01:01:34,276
So do you remember anything,
Wallace?

930
01:01:36,106 --> 01:01:40,697
I saw something.
Something diabolical.

931
01:01:41,870 --> 01:01:44,252
And it came from me, over.

932
01:01:45,218 --> 01:01:48,311
Did it say anything? Anything
that you could make out?

933
01:01:48,394 --> 01:01:50,762
Just something like...

934
01:01:50,845 --> 01:01:55,125
Wallace... we respect
who you are, dude.

935
01:01:56,160 --> 01:01:57,872
But we're gonna bite
your face off and shit

936
01:01:57,955 --> 01:02:00,394
if you don't pass out
from our supernatural powers.

937
01:02:02,891 --> 01:02:06,515
And spill a little bit of pop on
your trousers by the groin area.

938
01:02:07,413 --> 01:02:08,448
Over.

939
01:02:09,311 --> 01:02:10,920
Oh, who doesn't let
a few drops go

940
01:02:11,003 --> 01:02:13,143
when they're alarmed?
I know I do.

941
01:02:15,421 --> 01:02:16,960
And then you fainted.

942
01:02:17,043 --> 01:02:18,389
Passed out.

943
01:02:19,390 --> 01:02:22,517
I'm getting hot.
Is anybody else hot? Over.

944
01:02:22,600 --> 01:02:26,259
You don't have to keep saying "over,"
we're not talking on the radio anymore.

945
01:02:26,881 --> 01:02:28,192
Let me take your hat off.

946
01:02:38,824 --> 01:02:40,757
Wallace, you're
an absolute hero.

947
01:02:41,205 --> 01:02:44,160
Unfortunately, Chet really
let us down

948
01:02:44,243 --> 01:02:46,265
with the cameras because
we only have footage of you.

949
01:02:46,348 --> 01:02:48,937
We don't have any footage
of this entity.

950
01:02:49,835 --> 01:02:53,894
So we should probably all line up
and take turns punching him then?

951
01:02:53,977 --> 01:02:58,346
-In the balls?
-Oh, my gosh, I said I was sorry, okay?

952
01:02:58,429 --> 01:03:02,247
I just... I figured
he was gonna...

953
01:03:02,330 --> 01:03:04,056
Look, we still have sound!

954
01:03:06,852 --> 01:03:08,943
What are you laughing at,
you wanker?

955
01:03:09,026 --> 01:03:10,959
Yeah, what's so funny, Chet?

956
01:03:14,618 --> 01:03:19,278
Sorry, I... I must...
I must still be in shock.

957
01:03:22,522 --> 01:03:25,442
Wallace, can I get you anything?

958
01:03:25,525 --> 01:03:29,308
Uh, perhaps some hot chocolate?

959
01:03:29,391 --> 01:03:31,172
It's hardly
a time for sweet treats, Chet.

960
01:03:31,255 --> 01:03:34,866
I've just had
a near-death experience, jeez.

961
01:03:34,949 --> 01:03:37,282
You must keep up your strength,
though.

962
01:03:37,365 --> 01:03:42,114
Guys, stop fussing.
I'm a paranormal inspectre.

963
01:03:42,197 --> 01:03:43,958
This is my jam, dogs.

964
01:03:46,512 --> 01:03:49,087
Go on then, I'll just have
an extra-large one.

965
01:03:49,170 --> 01:03:50,481
Extra-large, you got it.

966
01:03:51,482 --> 01:03:54,037
With whipped cream,
plenty of whipped cream.

967
01:03:55,659 --> 01:03:57,854
Yeah, I don't think
we have any...

968
01:03:57,937 --> 01:03:59,525
And marshmallows.

969
01:04:00,284 --> 01:04:03,066
Whipped cream, marshmallows,
and that's it.

970
01:04:03,149 --> 01:04:07,119
And sprinkles. Whipped cream,
marshmallows, and sprinkles. That's all.

971
01:04:13,677 --> 01:04:14,920
Okay, fine.

972
01:04:16,128 --> 01:04:20,373
Looks like I'm finding another
all-night store. Again.

973
01:04:23,411 --> 01:04:24,515
And a Butterfinger.

974
01:04:25,482 --> 01:04:28,057
Yeah!

975
01:04:28,140 --> 01:04:30,487
-King size.
-Yeah! Yeah!

976
01:04:39,185 --> 01:04:41,912
Stupid.

977
01:04:42,602 --> 01:04:46,020
See how easy it is to get
to your friends, Chet?

978
01:04:46,606 --> 01:04:50,079
I don't see a whole lot
of searching going on.

979
01:04:50,162 --> 01:04:51,991
The clock is ticking.

980
01:04:52,958 --> 01:04:56,257
Why don't you tell your friends
there really is treasure here?

981
01:04:56,340 --> 01:04:59,674
Get them to work
around the clock.

982
01:04:59,757 --> 01:05:02,332
Of course, I'll have to kill
them later, but you won't mind.

983
01:05:02,415 --> 01:05:04,624
You'll have
five million dollars.

984
01:05:06,488 --> 01:05:09,008
Everybody has their price, Chet.

985
01:05:10,699 --> 01:05:12,308
Where are you going
this time of night?

986
01:05:12,391 --> 01:05:14,310
-I got to go.
-Oh!

987
01:05:14,393 --> 01:05:16,968
You're on a bitch run!

988
01:05:17,051 --> 01:05:22,318
What? Your friends got the munchies
so they sent Chet bitch out for snacks?

989
01:05:22,401 --> 01:05:24,403
You fucking pussy!

990
01:05:25,714 --> 01:05:28,510
Well, you better zip up.
It's freezing out.

991
01:05:30,305 --> 01:05:32,224
Got some schmutz on your face.

992
01:05:32,307 --> 01:05:34,226
Ah, no! Ah!

993
01:05:34,309 --> 01:05:39,059
-You can't go out like that.
-Alright, okay, alright!

994
01:05:39,142 --> 01:05:40,212
Ugh!

995
01:05:44,112 --> 01:05:45,251
Mouse.

996
01:05:47,219 --> 01:05:48,530
Mouse, you there?

997
01:05:50,118 --> 01:05:51,395
Mouse.

998
01:05:53,363 --> 01:05:54,536
Come on out.

999
01:05:55,399 --> 01:06:00,439
I got some yummy chocolates
for you, Mouse.

1000
01:06:01,371 --> 01:06:05,050
You can come out.
It could just be you and me.

1001
01:06:05,133 --> 01:06:07,480
We could just talk.
You don't need the other guy.

1002
01:06:11,105 --> 01:06:15,385
Oh, crap!
You don't have to be here!

1003
01:06:16,420 --> 01:06:18,236
Mouse, where are you?

1004
01:06:27,431 --> 01:06:30,317
Wait, wait, wait.
I've got a better idea.

1005
01:06:30,400 --> 01:06:34,045
What if I get you three souls?
Mmm?

1006
01:06:34,128 --> 01:06:37,324
So, you get three souls,

1007
01:06:37,407 --> 01:06:40,272
I get the jewels
and I get to keep mine.

1008
01:06:46,830 --> 01:06:48,763
One of them is a PhD student.

1009
01:06:51,179 --> 01:06:53,064
One of them
has fleeced thousands

1010
01:06:53,147 --> 01:06:55,011
into believing
in the paranormal.

1011
01:07:04,434 --> 01:07:07,492
No, he did it for his own
egotistical and financial gain.

1012
01:07:07,575 --> 01:07:09,508
That makes him a sinning fraud.

1013
01:07:10,819 --> 01:07:12,580
Eye? Doesn't he have two.

1014
01:07:17,136 --> 01:07:18,344
I don't want that.

1015
01:07:19,276 --> 01:07:23,142
So, the darker the soul,
the higher the value?

1016
01:07:27,319 --> 01:07:28,636
Can I have that in writing?

1017
01:07:32,220 --> 01:07:33,359
I don't think so.

1018
01:07:36,500 --> 01:07:38,261
Okay, hold on.

1019
01:07:41,850 --> 01:07:44,439
I'm sorry, I'm afraid
it's a bit, uh...

1020
01:07:52,827 --> 01:07:54,173
So we're agreed.

1021
01:08:04,839 --> 01:08:06,937
Come on, you gotta be
around here somewhere.

1022
01:08:11,501 --> 01:08:12,522
Chester!

1023
01:08:12,605 --> 01:08:13,641
Ah! What?

1024
01:08:16,644 --> 01:08:18,287
What can I do for you, buddy?

1025
01:08:18,370 --> 01:08:22,443
Buddy, what are you,
some kind of American?

1026
01:08:23,513 --> 01:08:24,548
Yeah?

1027
01:08:26,412 --> 01:08:27,245
I see.

1028
01:08:29,415 --> 01:08:30,589
Do you need something?

1029
01:08:34,627 --> 01:08:37,409
Since my near-death experience,

1030
01:08:37,492 --> 01:08:41,551
I've decided to live every day
as if it were my last.

1031
01:08:41,634 --> 01:08:44,623
So I've come up here
to punch you in the face!

1032
01:08:44,706 --> 01:08:45,742
Okay.

1033
01:08:47,226 --> 01:08:48,331
Can I ask why?

1034
01:08:53,370 --> 01:08:55,131
Touche, Chet

1035
01:08:56,546 --> 01:08:57,581
Touche.

1036
01:08:58,720 --> 01:09:00,860
A worthy adversary indeed.

1037
01:09:16,669 --> 01:09:19,108
I gave Wallace a little
something to help him sleep.

1038
01:09:19,500 --> 01:09:21,709
It might have sent him
around the bend.

1039
01:09:22,882 --> 01:09:24,767
He'd been asleep
for about an hour

1040
01:09:24,850 --> 01:09:26,769
when I heard him
rummaging under the bed.

1041
01:09:26,852 --> 01:09:29,358
I thought he was maybe going
to need the bathroom,

1042
01:09:29,441 --> 01:09:31,532
but he pulled out a hobby horse.

1043
01:09:31,615 --> 01:09:33,534
I've never seen
anything like it.

1044
01:09:33,617 --> 01:09:36,655
I told Poppy and she was like,
"Look it up, it's a thing."

1045
01:09:40,245 --> 01:09:43,682
Seriously, you should
look it up, though. My God.

1046
01:09:43,765 --> 01:09:46,251
Nobody seems to know
how he got so skilled at it.

1047
01:09:47,700 --> 01:09:52,898
Unfortunately, he wet himself at the end
of the routine, and then laid down in it.

1048
01:09:52,981 --> 01:09:54,224
Again.

1049
01:10:01,680 --> 01:10:06,981
I've taken him back to bed. I think I should
probably lock his door for a few hours.

1050
01:10:07,064 --> 01:10:08,307
Maybe a few days.

1051
01:10:34,333 --> 01:10:35,992
What you got there, Chet?

1052
01:10:36,853 --> 01:10:38,717
Nothing. Uh...

1053
01:10:40,581 --> 01:10:42,396
I was just, uh,

1054
01:10:42,479 --> 01:10:45,019
thinking about putting
a camera in the...

1055
01:10:45,102 --> 01:10:46,262
floor.

1056
01:10:46,345 --> 01:10:47,850
What the hell for?

1057
01:10:47,933 --> 01:10:50,335
Uh, you know...

1058
01:10:50,418 --> 01:10:51,799
different angles...

1059
01:10:53,041 --> 01:10:54,284
dynamic.

1060
01:10:56,873 --> 01:10:58,343
So Wallace is acting weird.

1061
01:10:58,426 --> 01:11:00,345
Really?

1062
01:11:00,428 --> 01:11:02,623
Well, stranger than usual.

1063
01:11:02,706 --> 01:11:04,315
Yeah.

1064
01:11:04,398 --> 01:11:07,227
It seems that Snow smashed
his brain to bits with Ketamine.

1065
01:11:09,092 --> 01:11:11,425
It came
as a surprise to me, too.

1066
01:11:11,508 --> 01:11:14,062
It wasn't Ketamine.
It was Valerian Root.

1067
01:11:16,858 --> 01:11:18,639
I'm sure it was.

1068
01:11:18,722 --> 01:11:20,621
I'm fairly sure
it was Valerian Root.

1069
01:11:23,071 --> 01:11:24,852
Is he gonna be okay?

1070
01:11:24,935 --> 01:11:27,715
Yeah, he'll be fine. We've
locked him in his room for now.

1071
01:11:29,871 --> 01:11:31,079
Alright, I'm gonna...

1072
01:11:33,565 --> 01:11:36,637
get back to it. Floor cameras.

1073
01:11:48,959 --> 01:11:49,981
Chet.

1074
01:11:50,064 --> 01:11:51,845
What? Fuck!

1075
01:11:51,928 --> 01:11:53,502
Sorry.

1076
01:11:53,585 --> 01:11:55,311
I just wondered if...

1077
01:11:58,141 --> 01:11:59,384
Oh, it doesn't matter.

1078
01:12:01,006 --> 01:12:02,890
What is it Snow?
What do you want?

1079
01:12:02,973 --> 01:12:06,308
I just wondered if...

1080
01:12:06,391 --> 01:12:08,427
you have had lunch.

1081
01:12:10,464 --> 01:12:13,467
No. Is that all?

1082
01:12:17,816 --> 01:12:19,377
Well, I'm pretty
busy here, so...

1083
01:12:20,819 --> 01:12:24,602
Okay, then. Bye!

1084
01:12:24,685 --> 01:12:27,757
Yes, something's going on.
That's why it's weird.

1085
01:12:38,146 --> 01:12:40,790
Oh! No way!

1086
01:12:40,873 --> 01:12:42,944
Oh. Oh, man.

1087
01:12:46,845 --> 01:12:49,351
It's the Irish Crown Jewels.

1088
01:12:49,434 --> 01:12:50,904
To be sure.

1089
01:12:50,987 --> 01:12:53,886
And you can tell, because some
of them are green.

1090
01:12:56,441 --> 01:12:57,752
Time to hand them over.

1091
01:12:58,926 --> 01:13:02,605
I found them. I found the jewels
and I'm in time, right?

1092
01:13:02,688 --> 01:13:05,104
Oh, I think you're
all out of time.

1093
01:13:06,209 --> 01:13:08,004
But you said...

1094
01:13:08,694 --> 01:13:10,889
I said I was a bad motherfucker.

1095
01:13:10,972 --> 01:13:13,444
Do you not understand
what that means?

1096
01:13:13,527 --> 01:13:15,169
Well, I just...

1097
01:13:15,252 --> 01:13:17,203
I thought I'd also be
a bad motherfucker.

1098
01:13:20,465 --> 01:13:22,176
I hate those things.

1099
01:13:22,259 --> 01:13:23,971
Oh my God! Mouse!

1100
01:13:24,054 --> 01:13:25,677
No, it's an octopus.

1101
01:13:27,092 --> 01:13:29,598
I don't think you have what it
takes to be a bad motherfucker.

1102
01:13:29,681 --> 01:13:32,014
I'm gonna kill you
and your friends

1103
01:13:32,097 --> 01:13:34,996
and then I'm gonna
sell these jewels.

1104
01:13:36,170 --> 01:13:38,572
With a knife? You're gonna kill
all four of us with a knife?

1105
01:13:38,655 --> 01:13:41,472
You're like a senior citizen.
Don't you have a gun?

1106
01:13:41,555 --> 01:13:46,546
Oh, try getting a permit
in New York, my God!

1107
01:13:46,629 --> 01:13:48,686
But you're a criminal.

1108
01:13:48,769 --> 01:13:51,551
Shut up! Or I'll...

1109
01:13:51,634 --> 01:13:54,001
I mean... I'm gonna...

1110
01:13:54,084 --> 01:13:57,191
What's the matter, Marjorie?
Bat got your tongue?

1111
01:14:09,514 --> 01:14:11,122
Oh, wait, hold on.
You gotta see the bit

1112
01:14:11,205 --> 01:14:13,985
from earlier first or none of
this is gonna make any sense.

1113
01:14:22,112 --> 01:14:25,039
It's been such a long night.
Maybe we should all just turn in.

1114
01:14:25,944 --> 01:14:29,451
Wallace, would you like me
to sleep in your room tonight?

1115
01:14:29,534 --> 01:14:31,694
I feel like someone
should keep an eye on you.

1116
01:14:31,777 --> 01:14:34,835
Yeah, probably a good idea
after my near-death experience.

1117
01:14:34,918 --> 01:14:37,113
Hope I don't get possessed
or something, geez!

1118
01:14:37,956 --> 01:14:40,220
Okay, I'll get my air bed.

1119
01:14:40,303 --> 01:14:41,815
Don't look at my willy, though.

1120
01:14:49,657 --> 01:14:50,644
Hey, Pop?

1121
01:14:50,727 --> 01:14:51,763
Mm-hmm?

1122
01:14:52,729 --> 01:14:55,925
Listen, I know
I really messed up, okay?

1123
01:14:56,008 --> 01:14:59,325
But I've been trying to tell you
all day, I had a haunting last night.

1124
01:14:59,805 --> 01:15:05,038
These two... things? They came into
my room and they said they want my soul.

1125
01:15:05,121 --> 01:15:08,075
-What soul?
-Come on, Poppy, I'm being serious!

1126
01:15:08,158 --> 01:15:12,853
-This really happened!
-Why would they want your soul? There's three others here.

1127
01:15:14,130 --> 01:15:16,926
Okay, well...
that's the other thing.

1128
01:15:19,135 --> 01:15:20,812
Don't get mad.

1129
01:15:20,895 --> 01:15:21,931
Too late.

1130
01:15:23,898 --> 01:15:27,094
-Okay, you know the... owner lady?
-Marjorie.

1131
01:15:27,177 --> 01:15:29,973
Yeah, but her name's
not Marjorie, it's Ethel.

1132
01:15:30,698 --> 01:15:34,032
And the jewels... they're real.

1133
01:15:34,115 --> 01:15:37,760
She's the one that sent me
searching for them in the first place.

1134
01:15:37,843 --> 01:15:42,800
See, she's not really the landlord of this
place. The owners? They disappeared.

1135
01:15:42,883 --> 01:15:44,836
And yeah, that's why
I brought us up here.

1136
01:15:44,919 --> 01:15:47,632
That's how I came up with the
whole jewel idea to begin with.

1137
01:15:47,715 --> 01:15:50,983
And I know what you're gonna
say, okay? I'm a terrible person, but...

1138
01:15:52,858 --> 01:15:55,343
I was gonna share
all of this with you guys.

1139
01:15:56,103 --> 01:15:57,173
Probably.

1140
01:16:00,038 --> 01:16:03,027
Okay, I wasn't!
But if I don't find these jewels

1141
01:16:03,110 --> 01:16:05,650
in less than a week,
she's gonna kill me!

1142
01:16:05,733 --> 01:16:08,964
Because I know too much, and
her buyers are gonna disappear.

1143
01:16:09,047 --> 01:16:11,035
And the whole haunting thing?

1144
01:16:11,118 --> 01:16:13,037
Well, that happened because I
was searching for these jewels.

1145
01:16:13,120 --> 01:16:17,075
See, these things?
They like... protect them.

1146
01:16:17,158 --> 01:16:19,940
And I think they're trying to
leave or something? I don't know.

1147
01:16:20,023 --> 01:16:24,566
They just said if I give them my soul
when I die, I get to keep the jewels.

1148
01:16:24,649 --> 01:16:26,167
Pop, what do I do?

1149
01:16:27,237 --> 01:16:28,825
Okay, first things first.

1150
01:16:31,794 --> 01:16:35,059
Even in your made-up stories,
Chet, you're a shit-heel.

1151
01:16:35,142 --> 01:16:39,857
It's not made up! I'm telling the
truth! Look what happened to Wallace!

1152
01:16:39,940 --> 01:16:41,928
Which we couldn't see.

1153
01:16:42,011 --> 01:16:44,082
God damn it, I know!
Okay, I'm sorry!

1154
01:16:45,462 --> 01:16:46,705
But this is real!

1155
01:16:48,914 --> 01:16:52,594
I know I've done some really
screwed up things in the past.

1156
01:16:52,677 --> 01:16:55,976
And I hung out with all
the wrong crowds, and...

1157
01:16:56,059 --> 01:16:58,703
I've fallen
into something stupid again.

1158
01:16:58,786 --> 01:17:00,740
But you don't understand.

1159
01:17:00,823 --> 01:17:05,676
Wallace and I were on the outs.
I didn't know what to do.

1160
01:17:05,759 --> 01:17:08,693
I didn't have any place to go.
We were family.

1161
01:17:10,487 --> 01:17:14,768
Okay. But don't breathe a word
of this to Wallace, okay?

1162
01:17:15,389 --> 01:17:16,942
Sure.

1163
01:17:17,460 --> 01:17:19,255
Have you looked in your Room 66?

1164
01:17:28,989 --> 01:17:31,943
Yeah, so, Pop and I
head over to Room 66,

1165
01:17:32,026 --> 01:17:34,325
and she's like, "Chet, we're
not supposed to go in here!"

1166
01:17:34,408 --> 01:17:37,397
And I'm like, "Pfft, Pop, chill,
whatever, brah!"

1167
01:17:37,480 --> 01:17:38,723
And she's like...

1168
01:17:45,143 --> 01:17:48,270
No! What if those things
are in there?

1169
01:17:48,353 --> 01:17:51,169
-What things?
-The ghouls that are after me. One of them's

1170
01:17:51,252 --> 01:17:55,360
this big scary vampire with
glowing eyes and messed up teeth.

1171
01:17:57,293 --> 01:17:58,881
What about the other one?

1172
01:17:59,502 --> 01:18:02,111
He's like a mouse.
He's kinda ratty looking.

1173
01:18:02,194 --> 01:18:04,700
A vampire and a mouse?

1174
01:18:04,783 --> 01:18:06,854
Well, when you say it like that.

1175
01:18:08,753 --> 01:18:09,788
It's locked anyway.

1176
01:18:14,137 --> 01:18:16,415
So it turns out skeleton keys
are a real thing.

1177
01:18:18,107 --> 01:18:19,177
Who knew?

1178
01:18:32,259 --> 01:18:33,950
Marjorie is watching.

1179
01:18:37,022 --> 01:18:39,784
It's Ethel!
There is no Marjorie!

1180
01:18:49,828 --> 01:18:53,335
-She killed Mouse! We have to get the hell out of here!
-We can't just leave her!

1181
01:18:53,418 --> 01:18:56,925
She killed Mouse! We have to go!
The devil's gonna get us!

1182
01:18:57,008 --> 01:18:59,755
I can make an anonymous call
to the police later.

1183
01:18:59,838 --> 01:19:01,861
Oh, yeah! I'll grab the jewels!

1184
01:19:01,944 --> 01:19:05,105
-Chat, those are fake, you moron!
-Oh, yeah, I knew that.

1185
01:19:05,188 --> 01:19:08,350
Ah, damn, so no jewels
and no show!

1186
01:19:08,433 --> 01:19:11,215
Look, if we turn on all the cameras,
something big might happen.

1187
01:19:11,298 --> 01:19:13,735
We can come back later
and pick up the footage.

1188
01:19:13,818 --> 01:19:18,256
Surely there's enough to finish the
show if we just have a spectacular finale.

1189
01:19:18,339 --> 01:19:24,159
Did someone say...
"Spooktacular Finale"?

1190
01:19:24,242 --> 01:19:26,451
-Over?
-Is he still baked?

1191
01:19:27,970 --> 01:19:29,509
Get the shot, Chet.

1192
01:19:29,592 --> 01:19:30,800
Oh.

1193
01:19:34,079 --> 01:19:36,185
Go on, Wallace.
Give us your magic.

1194
01:19:38,428 --> 01:19:39,429
Spirits...

1195
01:19:40,603 --> 01:19:45,125
We recognise your power,
and we respect your habitat.

1196
01:19:45,953 --> 01:19:49,287
That shrew in the cupboard,
killed a living thing,

1197
01:19:49,370 --> 01:19:53,498
We ask you to show yourself
in the name of...

1198
01:19:53,581 --> 01:19:55,949
all that is evil.

1199
01:19:57,931 --> 01:20:01,003
Shush, harlot!
Did she ruin my shot?

1200
01:20:02,590 --> 01:20:06,353
I said, "Shut your fat gob!"

1201
01:20:11,254 --> 01:20:13,070
That wasn't there before was it?

1202
01:20:13,153 --> 01:20:15,120
Holy fucking shit, Wallace!

1203
01:20:16,018 --> 01:20:17,868
Close the door,
we got to get out of here!

1204
01:20:42,009 --> 01:20:45,185
Uh, hey,
we're all square, right?

1205
01:20:46,324 --> 01:20:50,031
I brought you a soul darker than mine,
and I don't even have the jewels, so...

1206
01:20:51,950 --> 01:20:52,986
We're all set?

1207
01:20:54,125 --> 01:20:55,195
Okay, bye!

1208
01:21:03,341 --> 01:21:06,482
I'm sorry about Mouse. That
wasn't even me. That was her too.

1209
01:21:12,246 --> 01:21:13,316
Mouse?

1210
01:21:26,571 --> 01:21:28,469
Nope. Don't want to see that.

1211
01:21:54,530 --> 01:21:57,036
The jewels! Begorrah!

1212
01:22:03,470 --> 01:22:05,437
Did we just do a deal
with the devil?

1213
01:22:06,507 --> 01:22:07,978
I just spoke to Morris
and he asked

1214
01:22:08,061 --> 01:22:11,153
if you could get all the footage
from room 66.

1215
01:22:11,236 --> 01:22:14,501
Oh, and if we could burn the place
to the ground with Wallace still in it.

1216
01:22:14,584 --> 01:22:16,918
Snow you should probably keep
that to yourself.

1217
01:22:17,001 --> 01:22:18,071
Sorry.

1218
01:22:21,660 --> 01:22:24,477
So there was enough
for us to make a show.

1219
01:22:24,560 --> 01:22:27,307
With all the footage
from room 66.

1220
01:22:27,390 --> 01:22:31,634
I mean, good entertainment is good entertainment
even without big Hollywood names, right?

1221
01:22:35,226 --> 01:22:38,202
It was pretty funny that Ethel
was the one who gave us a show.

1222
01:22:38,815 --> 01:22:40,355
It's called irony, Chet.

1223
01:22:40,438 --> 01:22:42,322
Of course, we're sending
the crown jewels

1224
01:22:42,405 --> 01:22:44,428
back to their rightful home
in Ireland.

1225
01:22:44,511 --> 01:22:46,740
But first, they're going
to spend a little bit of time

1226
01:22:46,823 --> 01:22:49,226
in a museum at my university.

1227
01:22:49,309 --> 01:22:51,297
Maybe a year or two.

1228
01:22:51,380 --> 01:22:53,195
On a completely unrelated note,

1229
01:22:53,278 --> 01:22:56,440
I'm up for professorship.
I have tenure now.

1230
01:22:56,523 --> 01:22:59,255
So I don't have to spend
any more time with these idiots.

1231
01:23:15,128 --> 01:23:17,737
Well, guys, I guess this is it.

1232
01:23:17,820 --> 01:23:20,671
Morris has got me
a job in the big apple, so...

1233
01:23:20,754 --> 01:23:22,397
A big apple, I said.

1234
01:23:22,480 --> 01:23:26,001
It's the mascot costume
at Fanny's Fruit Pies.

1235
01:23:30,246 --> 01:23:31,627
Oh.

1236
01:23:38,841 --> 01:23:42,658
Really? It's like that, huh?

1237
01:23:42,741 --> 01:23:46,179
I'm so grateful to
have met you, Wallace.

1238
01:23:46,262 --> 01:23:49,424
I wish we could go
on more adventures together.

1239
01:23:49,507 --> 01:23:50,680
What will you do?

1240
01:23:52,786 --> 01:23:55,464
Well, I'll go where I'm needed.

1241
01:23:55,547 --> 01:23:57,052
Oh, thank you, Poppy.

1242
01:23:57,135 --> 01:23:58,205
Hey!

1243
01:23:59,551 --> 01:24:00,656
I was just saying,

1244
01:24:01,795 --> 01:24:05,488
I'll probably walk the Earth,
go where I'm needed.

1245
01:24:06,696 --> 01:24:07,718
See you all on the flip side.

1246
01:24:28,270 --> 01:24:29,685
Should we go and help?

1247
01:24:31,894 --> 01:24:34,414
No, he has to learn
to pick himself up.

1248
01:24:37,348 --> 01:24:38,418
Alone.

1249
01:24:46,426 --> 01:24:49,187
Ah. Maybe next time.

1250
01:25:17,940 --> 01:25:19,824
What's that smell?

1251
01:25:19,907 --> 01:25:22,137
Oh, come on. Wallace,

1252
01:25:22,220 --> 01:25:25,244
the one pile of dog crap
in the whole park.